Adoption Story: Megan + Clayton

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It’s never lost on me that my job as an Adoption Consultant entails walking hand-in-hand with families pursuing adoption. Having gone through the adoption process over 7 years ago, it’s very special to me that I’m able to connect with my families from the personal standpoint of, “Hey, I get it. I’ve gone down the path that you are embarking on. I understand what you are going through.” There is just something comforting about having an advocate on your side who understands the highs and lows, twists and turns, and uncertainties that accompany the adoption process.

I’ll never forget my first call with Megan and Clayton. We shared similar stories of infertility and the pain that coincides with it. Through the overwhelming path that led them to adoption, I sensed a strong sense of hope in their spirit. Despite their circumstances, they did not give up. I’m so glad they didn’t. Through perseverance and faith, God led them to their beautiful baby girl. Clayton and Megan, I’m so happy for your sweet family! Thank you for trusting me to help you on the journey to your daughter.

Megan shares more of their story below…

There is nothing that our God can’t do!

That has been the theme of our adoption story as God flung open one door after another. He had our daughter in mind before we met her, and nothing could mess up the story He was writing for our family.

When Clayton and I got married, we knew we wanted to grow our family right away. What we didn’t know was the struggle that growing our family would come to be. We endured three years of difficult diagnoses, miscarriages, multiple surgeries, several specialists, hundreds of medications and hormone injections, etc. In the thick of it, it felt as though God didn’t hear our prayers, our cries for a child to fulfill the desire He had placed in our hearts. 

While we continued to pray and seek His will for our lives, we heard God place adoption on our hearts. As we prayed about adoption, we continued the medical route for a few more months. It was then that we reached out to Kelly Todd at Christian Adoption Consultants to gather more information about adoption. To be completely transparent, the fear of the unknown had taken hold of our hearts. What if the expecting mother changed her mind, and we experienced yet another loss? How would we afford to adopt after undergoing treatment for the past three years? What did an open adoption truly look like? A few more weeks went by, and we continued to feel God calling us to adoption. We knew it was time to be obedient and trust that He would take care of every detail. It was in that moment, when we fully opened our hearts to be obedient, that we truly felt God honor the position of our hearts and begin to move mountains. 

We signed on with Christian Adoption Consultants and began working towards completing our home study, paperwork, and adoption agency applications. This process is not for the faint of heart, as it requires patience, organization, and being vulnerable enough to ask questions. Kelly was with us every step of the way. She encouraged us, answered our questions, and prayed for us. Within no time, our home study was complete, and we were able to begin receiving situations about expecting mothers who were considering adoption.  

One ordinary evening we responded to a situation about a baby girl due in June. We were so new to the process, and this was only the second situation we had responded to. We said a prayer and sent a text saying we wanted to present to the expecting mother. God was on the move! That weekend in church, we sang the song ‘More Than Able’ by Elevation Worship, and it became the theme song over the next few weeks. “Who am I to deny what the Lord can do?” and “You are more than able” are lyrics I would repeat over and over. 

A few days later, we were informed that the expecting mother had narrowed down the families she wanted to speak to, and we were one of those families! We couldn’t help but get our hopes up. We prayed endlessly, as did our family and friends. After having a phone conversation with the expecting mother, she informed us the next day she chose us to be parents! Tears of joy and prayers of thanksgiving became a part of our daily routine. However, we were no strangers to the fear and lies of the enemy. The more excited we became and the closer we got to traveling for the birth of our daughter, the more the enemy attacked. We are so thankful for Kelly as we continued to pray with us, reassure us, and check in with us continually. As she was praying for us, we were able to refocus our attention on the blessing before us.

Before we knew it, we were flying out to adopt our baby girl. Meeting her Birth Mom, watching her enter the world, and becoming her parents has been the greatest blessing we have ever experienced! Words truly cannot describe the emotions that surround this answered prayer.

We are currently living out our long-awaited dream of being parents, and we thank God every day for the little girl he chose to be ours! Adoption (and the three years of trying to grow our family) taught us to fully rely on the Lord, to find refuge in Him, and to seek His will above our own. Adopting our baby girl has been the greatest reminder that when we let go of our own plans and let God in, His blessings are far greater than anything we could imagine!

We are forever thankful for the gift of adoption, for our perfect baby girl, and for God’s faithfulness. We are so thankful for Kelly and Christian Adoption Consultants. This whole process truly takes a village, and we highly recommend having Christian Adoption Consultants as a part of your village! 

Those who sow in tears shall reap with shouts of joy! Psalm 126:5

With love and gratitude, 
Clayton, Megan, and Baby Girl


***If you are interested in learning more about adoption and the services we provide at Christian Adoption Consultants, I would love to chat!
Email me to receive a FREE inquiry packet.***

Adoption Story: Mandy + Kirk

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It was such a joy working with Kirk and Mandy! I am so grateful that the Lord connected our paths, as it was such an honor to have a front-row seat in their adoption journey! Below they share the story that led them to their two amazing kiddos and how God bonded their hearts with them forever. 

It’s so cliché, but everything happens for a reason. Some people know from the jump that adoption is in their hearts and follow that path. We were not those people. Our 5-year journey to parenthood started in 2013 after we were married. We were placed on the adoption path in 2017 after trying to get pregnant both on our own and then with specialists. 

When we met our daughter, Kenna, for the first time in 2018, it was like the waters parted, and it all made sense. All of the heartbreak over years of negative tests and failed treatments just melted away. We fell in love with her instantly.

Fast forward a few years, and we were ready to grow our family again. We had briefly tossed around the idea of doing one “Hail Mary” round of IVF, but I just didn’t have it in my heart. Adoption had rooted in and taken hold of it. While our first adoption experience was wonderful, once we were “in” the world of adoption, we learned about these people called consultants… and specifically about this wonderful group of people at Christian Adoption Consultants. 

We were connected with Kelly Todd at CAC, and she quickly put us on our path to finding our son. She was there with us every step of the way. From reading letters to prospective birth families to offering prayers and kind words after the disappointments of not being chosen, to the joy after finding out we had matched, and finally, the elation that came with meeting our son, Liam. 

Once again, the minute we saw him, we knew we were meant to be together. Not only did we have those parental feelings of joy, love, and connection, but Kenna immediately fell in love with him as well.

So this is us… Our story isn’t necessarily what we thought it would be, but we wouldn’t have it any other way. We could not love our children any more than we do. They amaze us, and we are in awe of them daily. God knew what he was doing when He joined our hearts with theirs. Our path is the path we were always meant to take, and we would do it again in a heartbeat!

***If you are interested in learning more about adoption and the services we provide at Christian Adoption Consultants, I would love to chat! Email me at kelly@christianadoptionconsultants.com to receive a FREE inquiry packet, and check out Christian Adoption Consultants for more information!***

Adoption Story: Ryan + Lauren

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I will never forget when Ryan and Lauren called and expressed their desire to pursue adoption. They signed on with me at CAC just a few short months after our initial call. The journey to their daughter was not easy, but as they share, every mountain they climbed to get to her was well worth the wait. Through all of the no’s, through all of delays and setbacks, through COVID and in the middle of a Texas ice storm…they never gave up! Ryan and Lauren, it was an honor to walk with you guys through the adoption process. What a joy it has been to see your story unfold! God’s grace is so very evident over every detail.

If you have been in the adoption journey for a while, then you already know.  If you are just starting, then you will quickly learn. This process is one of the most challenging things that your marriage and faith may ever go through.  But the ways God will work in your heart throughout this journey are absolutely amazing.  If you can push aside the distractions of the enemy, you quickly see that your relationship and faith will be stronger. Our story was about to end with us quitting. But God intervened. 

We had been struggling to conceive a child for several years prior.  My wife and I both had health issues that were contributing factors. After unsuccessful procedures and a couple major health scares, we decided that having children biologically was probably not going to happen. 

At that point, the thought of adoption was not on our minds yet. We had not even considered it.  Then, God placed a little girl in our lives.  She was staying with a family, which we are good friends with.  Her mother had been struggling with drug use and she was going to stay with our friends until her mother got better. We immediately developed a relationship with this little girl. We grew to love this little girl and as our love grew for her, God laid adoption on our hearts. 

In 2018 we signed on with Kelly at Christian Adoption Consultants and we jumped right into our adoption journey. I would say our journey for the most part was pretty typical.  We finished our home study and profile book. We applied to adoption agencies and attorneys. Situations would become available to present our profile; we would apply and then they would say we were not selected. Then, we would have another; we would apply and then they would say we were not selected. Then another, and another, and another and then the questions started popping up in our head.  “Is there something wrong with us?", "Do we need to be trying something different?",  or the dreaded, “Should we be doing this at all?”.  

Every time we were not selected for a situation our minds would turn it into a big NO!  Believe me after so many of those, it really started to hurt.  We were starting to feel the struggle of it mentally and we allowed some of the questions to get to us.  All the way to the point of giving ourselves a date of no more. We renewed our contracts with CAC and our Home Study Agency, and we told ourselves this was the last time. The enemy had finally gotten to us, and we were going to quit.  BUT THEN GOD.

At the end of January we received a phone call from one of the adoption agencies that we had been working with. They told us about a mother who was choosing adoption for her baby. Something felt different about this situation, but we didn’t know what it was, so we asked them to give us a few moments and think it over.  We got off the phone, talked to each other and contacted Kelly, our Adoption Consultant. After speaking with her, we felt good about moving forward. We called the adoption agency back and told them that we would love to present our profile. She immediately said she was glad we had decided to move forward, as the expecting mother wanted the agency to choose and they had chosen us. We immediately felt a  flood of emotions!  All of the years of waiting, years of "no's" that we had interpreted as rejection, years of not feeling adequate, had ended with a simple, YES! 

The agency shared with us that the expecting mother would like to name her child. We asked if they knew what she would like to name her.  “Yes, she would like for her name to be Angeline.” We were amazed and shocked! A couple months before my wife had lost her Aunt Angie.  Angie was the one that gave my wife her middle name, Nichole.  Angeline fit perfectly-Angeline Nichole, it was. 

Her due date was March 2nd so we started planning quickly! But we didn't get too far with it because she came about a month early! She was born in Texas. We live in Illinois- a short 16.5 hours drive if conditions are good. But we drove through an ice storm that shut down Texas. Once again, God took control of the situation and saw us through. We made it to Texas in great time, considering the conditions.  

Once we got to our destination, we settled into our hotel room and started figuring out when we could go see our baby girl. The agency informed us that she was in NICU because she was not eating on her own just yet. Due to COVID restrictions they were only allowing one visitor at a time. Our first thought was, "How are we supposed to bond with our child one at a time, for a small window, once every 24 hours?"  But God had other plans. He placed amazing nurses in our path that pushed for the Medical Director to allow us more time with her.

When she was eating better we were finally able to take her back to our hotel. Twice during the first few nights that we had her with us we lost power for several hours. Typically, being in  Texas, you wouldn’t be worried about this. But the weather conditions weren't favorable, as this black out was caused by a record setting winter storm.  Stores started running out of food, fuel was becoming limited, but God put us in a place where people did not cause more chaos. This town came together and helped each other.  The hotel made sure the people that stayed there had at least 2 meals a day. The surrounding gas stations made sure people stayed orderly and everyone had a fair chance at getting fuel. Even when people told us something was going to be a big roadblock, God made a way.

When we began the interstate paperwork for the adoption, we were warned that it could possibly take twice as long as normal due to everything that had been going on with COVID and the storm.  Typically, it should take anywhere from 7-10 business days for it to process. They told us we should be prepared for over 14 days. It took only 4. God was with us in every detail. 

Our story is a reminder to us of God's faithfulness. Angeline came into our lives February 10th.  It was the day we were meant to become parents.  All of the waiting, heartache, struggle and frustration all disappeared. This is the day we had been waiting for. It gives a new meaning to, “This is the day that the Lord has made.  I will rejoice and be glad in it" (Psalm 118:24).

***If you are interested in learning more about adoption and the services we provide at Christian Adoption Consultants, I would love to chat! Email me, Kelly Todd, at kelly@christianadoptionconsultants.com to request a FREE information packet!***

Adoption Story: Steven + Annie

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I had the wonderful privilege of walking with Steven and Annie through their adoption journey. I was amazed by their strength and faith throughout this entire process. Today they share the story that led them to their beautiful daughter. I pray their words serve as a means of encouragement to anyone who is in a season of waiting. God isn’t finished with your story.

We will never forget waiting in the car in a thunderstorm for four hours to be let into the hospital through protocols and signatures to see our daughter. You hear all the time “patience is a virtue.” Our journey through adoption definitely tested our patience, but we wouldn’t have had it any other way. 

Our story starts like many others; boy meets girl, they get married, decide they want children together, and then bam! – a brick wall to get through. We struggled with getting pregnant and after many years of trying, fertility treatments, and praying, we moved forward with adoption. 

The first chapter in our adoption journey started with the long road of fostering to adopt. After completing the intense training program and being approved to foster, we were never given the opportunity to foster someone outside of an emergency situation. And even then, because of calling multiple families at once, someone had already committed before we could. As the length between situations kept increasing with fewer and fewer calls, we turned to prayer once again for guidance on what we should do. Was this a sign we were not meant to do this or is it a sign to pray harder?

Fast forward a few months later, it was a toss up between more expensive fertility options or adoption outside of foster care. This is when the great team at Christian Adoption Consultants came into our lives. We were so thankful to have Kelly Todd as our Consultant. Her guidance throughout the entire process was invaluable to us and without her support we may have given up. 

Once you get approved to present to situations you get this feeling that you made a great decision by working with a consultancy as everyone is on top of their game and very attentive. Although Kelly and her team were phenomenal, the process of presenting to situations just seemed to take the air out from under our wings. And then, “patience is a virtue” comes back. We presented over and over, feeling like “this is meant to be” each time. With each new exciting situation and potential match, we were met with “the mother selected a different family”. This became quite discouraging as we progressed deeper into our journey.

We had many sleepless nights, tears of sadness, and the feeling that our prayers were going unanswered. The thought came each time, “maybe we are not meant to do this?” We had many conversations with Kelly where she stayed positive, encouraged us to keep our faith, and to keep moving forward. She always helped us put everything into perspective and to continue praying just as she was doing. 

After presenting more times than we could keep track of, we were matched with sweet expecting parents. The excitement and joy that came over us was nothing we had ever experienced before. The baby was due in six weeks and the expecting parents wanted to meet with us prior to the birth. As nervous as it was to drive to a different state and meet the birth parents of our future daughter, the experience couldn’t have been any better than it was. We had a wonderful time getting to know each other and everything just felt right. For the first time in the presenting process, we finally got feedback as to why we were selected and it was completely overwhelming. 

From here we knew that there was a reason God had us wait so long to be matched. We were waiting for our daughter. From the moment we presented to the day we met, it felt like it was meant to be. Through the entire array of emotions, the many years of pushing through, and the countless prayers from everyone that knew of our story, we are forever thankful to our daughter’s birth parents, the agency used to complete the process, the team at Christian Adoption Consultants, and to God for bringing us such a sweet baby girl that has completely filled our hearts with joy. 

Stay positive in your journey, don’t lose your faith, and know that God has a plan for how your story will be told.

***If you are interested in learning more about adoption and the services we provide at Christian Adoption Consultants, I would love to chat! Email me, Kelly Todd, at kelly@christianadoptionconsultants.com to request a FREE information packet!***

Adoption Story: David + Ashley

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Before David and Ashley signed on to work with me at Christian Adoption Consultants they had been working with two adoption attorneys for over a year. During this time they experienced a failed adoption and a scam. They were feeling extremely discouraged and exhausted when they began their journey with CAC, but they continued to place their trust in the Lord. Ashley and I had countless conversations about how God’s timing is best, even when it doesn’t make any sense to us. I watched as they continued to persevere through the adoption process, presenting their profile over and over again, praying along with them. They never gave up. It wasn’t easy. There were tears. There was doubt at times, “God, what are you doing here? Have you forgotten about us"?” But they continued to place their hope in the One who was writing their story. For those of you who are exhausted and worn out from the process, please take a few minutes and be encouraged by Ashley’s words.

Adoption has always been something that my husband and I knew would be a part of our family's story, even from when we were dating. I had worked as an adoption social worker and saw firsthand the beauty and the struggles with adoption. We knew that conceiving a biological child would be difficult but we felt that we needed to try. We tried unsuccessfully to conceive for six months and then after learning that extensive fertility treatments would be necessary, we took this as God leading us to pursue adoption. In January 2014, we began the adoption process and welcomed our son Matthew with the help of Christian Adoption Consultants in May 2014.

In August 2018, we started the adoption process again , thinking that it would be a similar timeline to our first adoption. It was anything but that but God knew what He was doing. We reached out to Kelly at CAC in August 2019 after experiencing an adoption scam and a failed match. By the time our profile book was ready and we had presented to a few situations, we learned that our home study update would essentially have to be a new home study. We got that finished only for COVID to hit and things slowed down a lot. Over the next year, I think we presented 20 times and each no was harder to hear. We updated our profile book, expanded preferences, you name it- but nothing was happening. We were beginning to wonder if this ever was going to happen or if we had heard God wrong. Kelly was there every step of the way, encouraging us and praying for us.

We had presented to yet another situation and it was another no. We were scraping the bottom of the barrel for hope and we were weary. In the early Spring, we received a phone call from an attorney about an expectant mom due in 4 weeks. We had to make our decision to present fairly quickly. 4 hours later, we got the call saying that we had been matched. We were cautiously excited. The next week, the attorney's office called and said that a C-section had been scheduled for 2 weeks later. Four hours later, we got a message from the birth family saying that the baby was coming that night! A short time later, we saw a picture of a beautiful baby girl.

We scrambled to get packed and we drove 6 hours to the hospital and visited with our daughter's birth family on my husband's birthday! . God had truly gone before us because the pediatrician was our former missions pastor's wife! Alora needed to be transferred to a bigger hospital and the pediatrician chose the one in a city where we had previously lived. God knew that we would need the love and support of our friends there because the next week was the hardest of our lives. It looked like things were unraveling as quickly as they had come together but God was so faithful. A week later, we left the hospital with our daughter, Alora Kay! Alora means "my dream" and "Lord is my light." Kay means "rejoice.” Her middle name is my middle name, my mother's middle name and just happened to be her biological grandmother's first name!

Kelly was such an encouragement to us, even when nothing made sense. She kept reminding us that God wouldn't allow us to miss our baby. We also knew to trust in God's timing but to also trust in His delays- His timing is perfect. I laughed and said that I was going to be 40 with a newborn and sure enough, Alora arrived and I turned 40 a few weeks later! Looking back, we can see how God was orchestrating every "no" into the best yes.

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***If you are interested in learning more about adoption and the services we provide at Christian Adoption Consultants, I would love to chat! Email me, Kelly Todd, at kelly@christianadoptionconsultants.com to request a FREE information packet!***

Adoption & Waiting During The Holidays

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I would like to dedicate this post to all of my amazing CAC families waiting in the adoption process. I see you. I'm here for you. I'm praying that God would overwhelm you with His peace that surpasses all understanding this holiday season.

Waiting in the adoption process on any given day can be overwhelming, but during the holidays it can feel insurmountable. For many, the Christmas season exudes a sense of celebration, joy and wonder as we think about the birth of our Savior. But for some this holiday season is met with complex emotions as they are reminded of great loss or what they do not yet have: the child they are longing for.

I can understand and relate to the raw emotions surrounding an empty crib and the holidays. I will never forget two Thanksgivings after our miscarriage. Our baby would have been a little over 1 years old. While working through my grief on this day, I also found out that a family member was pregnant. On top of processing grief, I was also dealing with guilt over the complex emotions I initially felt about their pregnancy, even though at my deepest core I was thrilled for them. Only those who have walked through these waters can understand the juxtapositions of emotions that land you from one plane to another in regards to infertility and the holidays. It's just extremely difficult and at times confusing to navigate.

As an Adoption Consultant with CAC I have walked with many families through the adoption process. I have had conversation after conversation with families about this specific topic and so I have a front row seat to how waiting during the holidays can be more difficult. I have compiled a short list of helpful tools to help hopeful adoptive families navigate the holiday season.

1. Prayer. Be vulnerable with God in prayer. This seems pretty simple on the surface, but I think it's something that we forget to be intentional about as we progress throughout our day. He can handle all of your big thoughts and feelings. Pour them out at His feet. Ask God to help you. Ask Him to help you walk in His peace. Ask Him to help you find joy in the day-to-day even as you are navigating your complex emotions over the holidays. He is the best listener and loves to help His children. "This is the confidence we have in approaching God: that if we ask anything according to his will, he hears us" (1 John 5:14).

2. Read your Bible & Meditate on His Promises. We have access to the very Word of God. The Bible says, “All scriptures are God-breathed” (2 Timothy 3). His Word is full of rich truths and promises for His children. The Bible is what our soul needs. His Word is life-giving. His Word is transformative. His Word is powerful. His Word speaks truth to our fears. If this is something that is difficult for you to do, ask God to help you! He is faithful to answer our requests. It doesn't have to be a two hour long Bible Study, but I encourage you to set aside time each day (it can be 15 minutes!) to get in God's Word and meditate on His truths. If you miss a day, that's okay! Try again the next day. God just wants you to spend time with Him. Here is a helpful tool I use to help me read the Bible.

3. Confide in a friend. Talk to someone that you trust about what you are struggling with. Be vulnerable with them. Tell them why this season is especially difficult for you. Give specifics so that they can pray directly to God about it!

4. Guard Your Heart. Do whatever you need to do to guard your heart and your mind. If you need to stay off social media because seeing the influx of pregnancy announcements, adoption stories and pictures of happy families over the holidays is too difficult for you, then unplug for a while! If you need to take a break from a Christmas family gathering then step outside, call your friend and have them pray over the phone with you.

5. Start a thankful jar. Designate a jar in the house that will be your "Thankful Jar." Put it in a visible spot so everyone in the house can see it throughout the day. Anytime a thankful or grateful thought comes to your mind, jot it down and throw it in the jar. You can even turn this into a family tradition! If someone is having a hard day, dump the jar out and read the little notes out loud. Regardless of what you are going through, look for the little blessings, look for those little moments where you can say "Wow God! Look what you have given me. Look how you have blessed me." Then, go write it down and toss it in the jar. Setting your affections on thankfulness is a mighty way to praise God through whatever storm or hardship you are going through.

I know these ideas aren't revolutionary. Perhaps you already do everything single one of them. I just felt like someone needed a little reminder and maybe that person was you. It’s my deepest prayer that this season you would be reminded in tangible ways of God’s unconditional love for you and your family. It’s my deepest prayer that as you pour your heart before the Lord that He would comfort you and fill you with His peace, hope and joy.

***If you are interested in learning more about adoption and the services we provide at Christian Adoption Consultants, I would love to chat! Email me, Kelly Todd, at kelly@christianadoptionconsultants.com to request a FREE information packet!***



Guest Post: Adoption Isn't A Way To Get Pregnant

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The moment the nurse placed him in my arms, I knew we belonged to each other. All the tears and frustrations of the past several years pooled into a fountain of joy. Now I understood why God has us wait for a baby: So we could have this baby.

After my husband and I struggled with infertility, the Lord blew us away with His kindness and matched us with a loving birthmother. Through her brave choice, He gave us a son.

People were happy for us. They threw us showers, brought meals, and eagerly cuddled our son. Yet amid the celebration, we heard comments hinting at something better to come. A wink here, a nudged elbow there, the crack of a smile implying special intuition. I cringed every time someone uttered the words:

“Now that you’ve adopted, you’ll get pregnant. It happens all the time.”

No. No, it doesn’t happen all the time. Research on pregnancy after infertility doesn’t account for couples who adopt before getting pregnant. From a scientific standpoint, this idea is a myth.

People who say this mean well. They’re trying to give you hope that your longing for a biological child will be fulfilled. What they don’t understand is that this myth devalues adoptees. It regards the process of adoption as inferior to biological procreation, and an adopted child as less desirable than a biological child.

Regardless of good intentions, statements like “Just adopt, then you’ll get pregnant” hurt people. They question couples’ family-building decisions, treat children as a means to an end, and reject the core Christian belief that God created all human beings in His image (Genesis 1:27).

Every life matters to God. He calls us as His image bearers to respect and preserve the dignity of every single person. No matter how a child is brought into a family, he or she is worthy of value to the Lord and to the world.

God grows families through both pregnancy and adoption. The varied makeup of the earthly families he builds reflects the diversity of our spiritual family. We come from different backgrounds, far-flung places, and widely ranging walks of life, all broken and in need of rescue. By sending Christ to die in our place and raise to new life, God gave us the right to be called His adopted children. As He welcomed us into His family, so we can embrace and appreciate the mosaic of families he forms in the world.

Through earthly adoption, God does more than unite parents with children. He provides a path to redeem some of the damage the Fall inflicted on childbearing and family unity. He takes crises like infertility, unexpected pregnancy, and children who are orphaned or otherwise at risk and transforms them into opportunities for restoration.

As with any earthly process, adoption isn’t perfect. It can’t completely “fix” these problems. Yet the creation of a family born of loss renders hope for a broken world groaning to be made anew (Romans 8:19). Like with our spiritual adoption, we need earthly adoption to claim the family wholeness we crave.

Viewing adoption as secondary to biological procreation diminishes a beautiful process whereby God works redemption. Rather than a lesser means to a better end, adoption is a resolution, a responsibility, a calling, and a gift. It’s an end unto itself and should be appreciated as a providential plan. John Piper describes the intrinsic worth of both ways God designs a family:

“In our lives, there is something uniquely precious about having children by birth. That is a good plan. There is also something different, but also uniquely precious, about adopting children. Each has its own uniqueness. Your choice to adopt children may be sequentially second. But it does not have to be secondary. It can be as precious and significant as having children by birth.”

Although it’s rare, some couples do get pregnant after adopting. It happened to us. I have no explanation for it, other than to say God worked another miracle after the first miracle of bringing our oldest son through adoption. We’re grateful for how he formed our family using different paths at different times.

Wherever you’re at on the path of adoption, be prepared to encounter the myth that adoption leads to pregnancy. Even if infertility isn’t part of your story, you’ll hear it tossed around as a platitude or joke.

While it’s frustrating to be told such a harmful cliché, try to approach the situation as an opportunity to educate others. Tell them that a child who is adopted isn’t a consolation prize for parents who couldn’t conceive. Give them a clearer picture of adoption, acknowledging the risks and flaws while also highlighting the value and beauty of this path.

Ask the Lord to give you boldness and gentleness to correct the myth. Help others see the glorious ways God chooses to grow a family, that they might glorify your Father in heaven.

Jenn Hesse is a writer, wife, and mother through adoption and pregnancy. She is the content director at a national infertility support ministry called Waiting in Hope, and has a passion for equipping others to know Christ through His Word. She writes at jennhesse.com and other Christian publications.

Adoption Story: Terrence + Meredith

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I remember the first time I spoke with Terrence and Meredith. They were so kind and friendly. We hit it off immediately as they shared a bit of their story with me. I had a feeling we would become friends and I was right! When they started the adoption process we had no idea that they would be meeting their daughter for the very first time in the middle of a pandemic! But as we know, God's timing is best and I think you will come to see as we have that His timing is perfect!  As their Adoption Consultant with CAC I’m honored to share a glimpse into their adoption journey-the journey that led them to their beautiful baby girl! 

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After Terrence and Meredith signed on with Christian Adoption Consultants I provided them with our Adoptive Parent Guide Book (resources that CAC has pulled together from over 14 years of working in the adoption field!) and a trusted home study provider recommendation. Then, I walked them through what to expect in the upcoming days, weeks and months. 

When their home study and profile was almost done, I connected them with our recommended agency list and we talked through which ones might be the best fit for them. They began presenting to situations immediately. As it is for many families, this part of the adoption process was one of the most difficult aspects. We had many conversations about how a “no” does not mean “never” it just means “not yet.” I was amazed by their faith and trust in God as they continued putting their “yes” on the table despite hearing “no” so many times. 

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I will never forget the day they got an email from an agency I had connected them to. They learned about an expectant mama who was due with baby girl in a month! After praying about it they decided to present their profile. A few days later they called to let me know that they were chosen! When we talked on the phone they commented on the timing of how their story was unfolding. It was the end of April and we were in the very middle of a pandemic. But they still trusted that God would guide them through the uncertainty every step of the way.

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 A few weeks before baby girl’s due date I received this text from them, “ …we are on our way…baby girl was born this morning!…” They arrived there late Saturday night too late to go to the hospital, but Sunday morning I got the most beautiful text from Meredith letting me know their baby girl was doing good! When they finally got word they could head home with their daughter I was so elated! I knew they were so ready to introduce their eldest daughter to her new baby sister!

I got a picture from Meredith shortly after they got home of both girls in matching outfits. Lexi, their eldest, was giving their new baby sister a big kiss on the cheek. Meredith sent me a text with the picture that read, "My sister-in-law sent a few matching outfits and this was the best day of Lexi's life."

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I asked Meredith and Terrence to share a little about their experience with CAC and the journey to their daughter and this is what they had to say:

”I feel like our adoption story isn't the ‘norm',’ but then again, nothing about growing our family has been ‘normal.’ And even though the waiting wasn't easy (waiting for over a year for something you want SO BADLY is certainly not easy), we had to constantly remind ourselves that the Lord had brought us to this particular place, and He had made it very clear that adoption was part of His plan for our family. With every ‘no’ we heard (and there were a lot), we just had to remember that even though we didn't know how this would end, the Lord did. Terrence and I had to keep telling each other that if we truly believed the Bible and everything it tells us about who Jesus is, then we could trust Him with this completely. It's hard for both Terrence and I to give up control of things, but we agreed early on in this process that we had to give this to the Lord 100% because He knows better than we do. And the Lord proved Himself to us in ways we never would have dreamed!”

***If you are interested in learning more about adoption and the services we provide at Christian Adoption Consultants, I would love to chat! Feel free to email me at kelly@christianadoptionconsultants.com and check out Christian Adoption Consultants for more information!***

Adoption Story: Ben + Jennifer

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Ben and Jennifer signed on with me at Christian Adoption Consultants in August of 2018. They were very honest and vulnerable about their story and what led them to where they are today. Jennifer opened up about their pregnancy that led to an emergency c-section and a beautiful baby boy. But they also shared with me the difficulty of processing the finality of their infertility due to a hysterectomy. They talked about God’s faithfulness in healing their hearts through the loss and how they were excited about starting the adoption journey! They were matched a few days before Christmas and brought home their beautiful daughter a few months later. Jen was just sharing with me how special it is to be on the other side of this journey and how helpful it was to read adoption stories when they were in the wait. It’s my prayer that her words would be an encouragement to you wherever you are in the process!

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Our adoption journey began early in our marriage, when Ben and I talked about what it would be like to grow our family through adoption. At this time it was just an idea we wondered about. But life early in marriage was busy, I was starting residency in emergency medicine, and Ben was starting graduate school.  It was only a few months into my first job that I became pregnant with our son, Isaiah. I had a healthy pregnancy without any issues. However, when I went into labor, things started to shift. Ultimately after a long labor, I would require an emergency c-section. It wasn’t until I was in recovery the medical team discovered I was bleeding excessively, eventually leading to severe shock and a critical condition. I was rushed back to surgery for an emergent hysterectomy, the last resort to stop the bleeding.  Days later, I remained in critical condition. Thankfully with family gathered and praying over me, and a wonderful medical team, I recovered and awoke to embrace my husband and new precious baby boy. 

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The months, and even years, after were filled with the joy of raising Isaiah, but also with deep raw emotion, grief, and questions about the finality of my infertility.  It was in this difficult season that we grew. The best decision I ever made was to make my first appointment with a counselor. Which, as many can probably understand, is not an easy step. Especially as a healthcare provider, where people look to you for help-now I needed the help.  I think it was no accident that the counselor I connected with was a wonderful, wise woman of faith, who had experience helping others in grief and loss, but even more importantly, the complex questions that come up along the way. As I think back on this season, I often think of the phrase ‘necessary suffering’, which is described by well known faith leaders. This was a season I needed to walk, no trudge, through. It was so uncomfortable. I wanted to get it over with. But I had to learn to sit in the grief. And I found in that sitting, you grow. And in that sitting, you see Jesus there next to you, over and over again.  Through this season, I would start to gain eyes to see things I could not have seen otherwise. It was sad, beautiful and somehow life giving all at the same time. 

Ben and I decided we were going to move forward with our dream of adoption. One challenge for us was that Ben was still finishing school and we were far from family. We would also need to move at least once more for him to finish an internship before he graduated.  Starting the adoption process had to wait a bit. And I am not good at waiting. This, again, was another necessary season for us. We took over three years to learn as much as we could about adoption. I did this through podcasts, books, blogs, interviews-everything I could find. This, I now see, was more about preparing my heart, and learning to listen. I learned that the most valuable resource were the stories. I listened to so many stories from birth mothers, and gained so much compassion and respect for these brave women. I listened to stories from adoptees, and understood how critical their voice is in this conversation.  It set the stage for how we would approach our own adoption journey, from the beginning, but also for the rest of our lives. 

After moving back close to our families and getting settled into our jobs and community, we were finally ready to begin the process. By the time this started, we felt ready-not just with the logistics, but with our hearts.   The process itself was quick compared to the years before. We signed on with adoption consultant, Kelly Todd through Christian Adoption Consultants in the summer of 2018 and completed our home study shortly after that. We started receiving situations from Kelly at CAC in October.  In December we presented to an expectant mother who was expecting a baby girl. Just days before Christmas our wonderful adoption consultant called with the exciting news-she had chosen our family!

We spent the next few months not only preparing for a new baby girl to come home, but also to get to know the expecting mama. We had the amazing opportunity to not only speak with her over the phone, but meet her face to face before baby girl was born. I then flew out about a week before the baby arrived, to spend additional time with her birth mama. This is time I will never forget, and will always look back on fondly. We spent days just finding things to do together-going to movies, getting our nails done, getting lunch and just chatting. So many important things came up throughout these days together and we formed the foundation of a strong bond between us. 

Soon, Ben and Isaiah along with my mom arrived, all waiting for baby to come.  When we got to the hospital she had already been in labor for some time. It was only shortly after we got to the hospital that this perfect little miracle, Aaliyah Jewel, was born.  I had the honor of staying by her side every step of the way. 

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This little tiny baby is about to turn a year old next month! She is an absolute joy. Sweet, funny, active, musical, and absolutely beautiful.  She has herself wrapped around big brother and daddy’s finger. But is still a mama’s girl in the end. She certainly has captivated the hearts of everyone in our family. And we continue to keep in close contact with her beautiful birth mama.  

Our journey is just beginning.  There will be more bumps in the road and challenging seasons ahead. But there will be so much joy. Adoption is both a story of loss and grief, but also redemption and faithfulness, and certainly an up close view of God’s intricate work.   We hope this story touches you in some way, as you move through your journey.

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***If you are interested in learning more about adoption and the services we provide at Christian Adoption Consultants, I would love to chat! Feel free to email me, Kelly Todd, at kelly@christianadoptionconsultants.com and check out Christian Adoption Consultants for more information!***

Adoption Story: Jon + Amy

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I had the honor of walking with Jon and Amy through the adoption process from beginning to end! I remember the very first time I spoke with Amy on the phone! She was so kind and easy to talk to. I was amazed by her vulnerability and openness in sharing about the journey that led them to adoption. Jon and Amy, I’m amazed by your strength, faith and trust in God throughout this entire process. It was very evident that your hope was in the One who was writing your story and not your circumstances. I pray Amy’s words would be a source of encouragement and joy to you wherever you are on your journey.

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Jon and I have two biological sons. We always knew our hearts had more love to share with another child. After experiencing serious medical complications with our second son at birth, we didn’t know if we would ever have more children. We put it in God’s hand and after many years of trying to grow our family, he opened the door to adoption for us….and we followed Him through it. 

In January 2018, a friend of ours who had recently adopted, recommended that we call Christian Adoption Consultants for a consultation call. We were in the very early stages of considering adoption when I called and spoke to Kelly Todd. There was an instant connection, like I was talking to someone I had known forever! She answered all of our questions and put our concerns at ease. Our initial plan was to call a few places and do our research before signing on with one place. CAC was our first phone call and our last!! We felt so good after that initial call with Kelly Todd and we signed on a few days later!!

Kelly was so incredibly helpful right from the start. She made us the most beautiful profile book and helped us find a home study agency which we adored! I was constantly texting her or emailing her questions and thoughts as they came up and she was always so quick to answer! 

We were home study ready in April 2018 and immediately started seeing situations. Over the next few months, we presented to a few situations however kept hearing that expectant mama had chosen another family. I will admit, we weren’t prepared for how difficult that part was going to be with each time feeling like a loss of someone we already cared for. Kelly was always there to encourage us, pray for us and push us to trust in God’s timing. Our faith was definitely strengthened during this waiting period and I am thankful for the gentle nudging that she continued to give us.

In September of 2018, we received a situation about a baby that had already been born. We chose to present! As we were writing a letter to her birth mother, I felt so connected to her. It felt different than the previous times and I just knew in my heart and soul that this was it! Two days after presenting, we got the call that we had been chosen!! 24 hours later, we hopped on a plane to go meet this sweet little girl!

Ours boys came with us which was incredibly special! We communicated very openly with them about the adoption journey from the beginning and having them by our sides on our way to go meet our daughter and their sister was something we will never forget and always be grateful for. 

On September 15th, the sweetest little girl was placed in our arms. I will never forget the joy and emotion that was felt in that very moment. We had prayed for this child for so long and our hearts were literally bursting with joy. 

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We were initially told that her birth mama wanted a closed adoption which we felt sad about however little did we know that more prayers would be answered.  We were told by the agency, that her birth mama really wanted to meet us after all! The following day, we had the great privilege to meet her for lunch and get to know her more. It was one of the most beautiful and unforgettable moments we have ever experienced and we feel so blessed to have had this opportunity. 

This journey was not an easy one but our family learned so much about life and love. It has changed us in ways we never could have imagined.  We will forever be grateful to Abigail’s birth mother for giving us the honor and privilege to parent this sweet girl and to God for His faithfulness throughout all of this. 

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Ready to Learn More?
I’d love to hear your story and help you explore how Christian Adoption Consultants can simplify the adoption process for your family. Send me an email at kelly@christianadoptionconsultants.com, and we can set up a time to connect. Whether you’re just starting to consider adoption or you’re ready to take the next step, I’m here to guide and encourage you every step of the way!