Adoption Story: Megan + Clayton

August 20, 2023 by Kelly Todd in Adoption

It’s never lost on me that my job as an Adoption Consultant entails walking hand-in-hand with families pursuing adoption. Having gone through the adoption process over 7 years ago, it’s very special to me that I’m able to connect with my families from the personal standpoint of, “Hey, I get it. I’ve gone down the path that you are embarking on. I understand what you are going through.” There is just something comforting about having an advocate on your side who understands the highs and lows, twists and turns, and uncertainties that accompany the adoption process.

I’ll never forget my first call with Megan and Clayton. We shared similar stories of infertility and the pain that coincides with it. Through the overwhelming path that led them to adoption, I sensed a strong sense of hope in their spirit. Despite their circumstances, they did not give up. I’m so glad they didn’t. Through perseverance and faith, God led them to their beautiful baby girl. Clayton and Megan, I’m so happy for your sweet family! Thank you for trusting me to help you on the journey to your daughter.

Megan shares more of their story below…

There is nothing that our God can’t do!

That has been the theme of our adoption story as God flung open one door after another. He had our daughter in mind before we met her, and nothing could mess up the story He was writing for our family.

When Clayton and I got married, we knew we wanted to grow our family right away. What we didn’t know was the struggle that growing our family would come to be. We endured three years of difficult diagnoses, miscarriages, multiple surgeries, several specialists, hundreds of medications and hormone injections, etc. In the thick of it, it felt as though God didn’t hear our prayers, our cries for a child to fulfill the desire He had placed in our hearts.

While we continued to pray and seek His will for our lives, we heard God place adoption on our hearts. As we prayed about adoption, we continued the medical route for a few more months. It was then that we reached out to Kelly Todd at Christian Adoption Consultants to gather more information about adoption. To be completely transparent, the fear of the unknown had taken hold of our hearts. What if the expecting mother changed her mind, and we experienced yet another loss? How would we afford to adopt after undergoing treatment for the past three years? What did an open adoption truly look like? A few more weeks went by, and we continued to feel God calling us to adoption. We knew it was time to be obedient and trust that He would take care of every detail. It was in that moment, when we fully opened our hearts to be obedient, that we truly felt God honor the position of our hearts and begin to move mountains.

We signed on with Christian Adoption Consultants and began working towards completing our home study, paperwork, and adoption agency applications. This process is not for the faint of heart, as it requires patience, organization, and being vulnerable enough to ask questions. Kelly was with us every step of the way. She encouraged us, answered our questions, and prayed for us. Within no time, our home study was complete, and we were able to begin receiving situations about expecting mothers who were considering adoption.

One ordinary evening we responded to a situation about a baby girl due in June. We were so new to the process, and this was only the second situation we had responded to. We said a prayer and sent a text saying we wanted to present to the expecting mother. God was on the move! That weekend in church, we sang the song ‘More Than Able’ by Elevation Worship, and it became the theme song over the next few weeks. “Who am I to deny what the Lord can do?” and “You are more than able” are lyrics I would repeat over and over.

A few days later, we were informed that the expecting mother had narrowed down the families she wanted to speak to, and we were one of those families! We couldn’t help but get our hopes up. We prayed endlessly, as did our family and friends. After having a phone conversation with the expecting mother, she informed us the next day she chose us to be parents! Tears of joy and prayers of thanksgiving became a part of our daily routine. However, we were no strangers to the fear and lies of the enemy. The more excited we became and the closer we got to traveling for the birth of our daughter, the more the enemy attacked. We are so thankful for Kelly as we continued to pray with us, reassure us, and check in with us continually. As she was praying for us, we were able to refocus our attention on the blessing before us.

Before we knew it, we were flying out to adopt our baby girl. Meeting her Birth Mom, watching her enter the world, and becoming her parents has been the greatest blessing we have ever experienced! Words truly cannot describe the emotions that surround this answered prayer.

We are currently living out our long-awaited dream of being parents, and we thank God every day for the little girl he chose to be ours! Adoption (and the three years of trying to grow our family) taught us to fully rely on the Lord, to find refuge in Him, and to seek His will above our own. Adopting our baby girl has been the greatest reminder that when we let go of our own plans and let God in, His blessings are far greater than anything we could imagine!

We are forever thankful for the gift of adoption, for our perfect baby girl, and for God’s faithfulness. We are so thankful for Kelly and Christian Adoption Consultants. This whole process truly takes a village, and we highly recommend having Christian Adoption Consultants as a part of your village!

Those who sow in tears shall reap with shouts of joy! Psalm 126:5

With love and gratitude,
Clayton, Megan, and Baby Girl

***If you are interested in learning more about adoption and the services we provide at Christian Adoption Consultants, I would love to chat!
Email me to receive a FREE inquiry packet.***

Adoption Story: Molly + John

February 06, 2023 by Kelly Todd in Adoption

As an adoption consultant, I have a front-row seat in watching God’s plans unfold for amazing couples, just like John & Molly. A few questions I often ask families inquiring about our services here at Christian Adoption Consultants is, “What led you down this path? What brought you here?” I will never forget the sheer vulnerability that poured from Molly’s heart when she answered those questions. There was not a dry eye on the phone. As Molly shares below, their adoption story did not pan out as they expected it would, but God did not waste their wait. He never does. Molly and John, it was an honor to assist you on the journey to your beautiful baby girl!

As far back as when I was a 12-year-old little girl, I remember being somewhat aware of the topic of adoption. I had a cousin who was adopted, and the thought of adopting was planted in my heart. Fast forward many years later, and the topic of adoption came up again. My husband and I welcomed twin boys. During my labor, I had very serious complications that eventually led to me not being able to have any more biological children. I brought the topic of adoption up to my husband, but at the time, he was not on board. This conversation continued to happen over many years. I still felt the tug of adoption on my heart, but my husband just wasn't feeling the same way. I continued to pray over and over that the Lord would either change my husband's heart or mine. It was the year 2020 when I first saw my husband's heart change. That fall, he came up to me and said, "I'm ready.” And thus, we began our journey to adopt.

I knew from the get-go that I wanted to work with an adoption consultant. The world of adoption felt overwhelming and confusing. I wanted someone who could help guide us along the way and pray for us. I had heard of CAC in my research, and I reached out to them for more information. We were immediately set up with an informational call with Kelly. After asking a few questions, I knew this was the route I wanted to take. We quickly signed up to work with Kelly, and we are so thankful we did.

I'm not going to sugarcoat it, the process was tough-mentally, emotionally, and spiritually. Even though I tried to prepare myself for how hard it was going to be, there is just nothing one could do to totally prepare for what it is going to be like. From the Home Study paperwork, the tough conversations you have to have as a couple, to the rejection you feel when you are not picked by a birth mom-it's just difficult. There were so many times I had to surrender everything to God and choose to praise Him despite feeling defeated.

Everyone always tells you that "waiting" is the hardest part and it's true. In my head, I thought our wait would be quick. In every case that we would present, we couldn't help but get our hopes up. "Maybe this is the ONE," I would think to myself. I would begin to envision how our family would change, how I would prepare for the baby, etc. And then when we would get the email. "I'm sorry, the expecting mom has chosen to go with another family.” All those dreams came crashing down. I would allow myself to be sad about it for a while. I didn't know how not to be sad when not chosen. I knew that I trusted God, but that didn't make it any less sad for me.

Throughout all the ups and downs, Kelly was always there to lend a listening and comforting ear. She would pray for us when we were frustrated. She would encourage us when we were down. I can't tell you how much this meant to me during all the hard waiting times of adoption. She was also there to answer the numerous questions that would arise during this time. Each agency is so different and so there are always things that we would run past Kelly when we were unclear about something. She was quick to reply and always so patient with us.

During our time of waiting, we just kept reminding ourselves that God was in control. That HE knew what was best for our family and that we would trust him with that.

When we first read about our daughter's situation, we felt excited but also kept our excitement at bay. We were drawn to the case, but we had learned from past experience that nothing is a sure thing. We told the agency that yes, we wanted to be presented. The day I got the call was the day after Mother's Day and the day before our twins' birthday. I remember looking at my caller ID and seeing a state listed, and it was the same state as the agency where we presented. My heart immediately started beating faster. I remember the person from the agency telling me that we matched, and I immediately started crying. It felt surreal! I was elated, excited, nervous, happy, all the emotions! I immediately face timed my husband at work, and he could tell just by looking at my face that I was calling with great news. We were both just so excited! I then made the calls to some of my dear friends who had been praying for us for such a long time on this journey. Their joy was palpable!

We matched with our daughter’s Birth Mom in May, and our daughter was due a few months later. We immediately started to plan a time when we could meet our daughter’s Birth Mom. I was, of course, nervous and excited. What would it be like? How would the conversation go? It was very neat because I had immense peace on the day of the meeting. I felt a sense of calm, and I know it was because we had so many people praying for us. When we arrived to meet her, I immediately gave her a hug. I'm a hugger, so I told her that, and she smiled and gladly hugged me back. It was so neat to have dinner with her and her family. The conversation just flowed. My heart just felt so much peace and happiness.

Fast forward a few months, and it was the end of July. We had just hung out with some friends that day and got home in the evening. I heard my phone ring, but I missed the call. I went to get it and immediately saw that the call was from our social worker. I looked at my husband and said, "It's baby time; I just know it.” I called the social worker back, and she told me that, yes, our birth mom was in labor. Cue the adrenaline spike! At this point, it was 8:30 pm, and we had a 10 hr drive ahead of us. I already had a bag packed for the baby, but we still had to pack ourselves. We rushed around, called our friend to come and stay with our boys, and then called my parents so they could come and stay with the boys until we could return.

We had been invited to attend the birth, and we weren't sure we were going to make it. All the while, we were receiving updates from the social worker. It became clear that we weren't going to make it for the birth. Although disappointed, we knew it was out of our hands. Our social worker was great at sending us updates. We got the text at around 4:00 am that our daughter was born! We couldn’t wait to meet her!

When we got to the hospital, I remember slowly walking into the room and seeing our daughter in that little hospital bassinet. She was starting to wake up and fuss a bit, so I asked if I could hold her. I scooped her up and just stared at her precious little face. I couldn't believe that after all the years of prayer and longing, I was holding my daughter. My heart could burst. I was so happy. I remember looking at her and thinking, "You are the one we have prayed for all of these years.” I also remember thinking, "God, you are so so good.”

We are so thankful that we have an open adoption with our daughter's birth mother. That was something that was very important for our daughter’s Birth Mom and us as well. We communicate very regularly via text. We also facetime occasionally and will see her around the time of our daughter's first birthday. We want our daughter to know how loved she is by her Birth Mom! The fact that she is in our lives and can tell her that as she grows up is so amazing!

This process definitely taught me a lot about trusting God and surrendering my plans to Him. I, of course, had the perfect idea of when it would be ideal to match. And while it didn't go badly, it definitely took longer than I thought it would. This process really taught me to not only say I trusted God but showed me how to trust God. With every "no" we got, I had to surrender that plan or dream to God and say, "I don't understand, but I trust you, God.” That was really hard. But it grew my faith and taught me to surrender my plans for His.

No one can really prepare you for the ups and downs that come with this journey. You can read every blog or every story, but just know yours will be unique to you. My advice would be not to have timeline expectations on when your match will happen. Make sure you and your spouse talk through how you're doing emotionally and mentally throughout the process. My husband and I dealt with disappointment in this journey very differently, and that was hard at times. I would also encourage you to have a support system. Share with your friends and family so that they can pray for you. Prayer is huge during this journey and very needed. There were many times I wanted to give up, or I was emotionally exhausted, and it was because of prayer and encouragement from friends and family that we were able to keep going. My other piece of advice sounds so cliche, but it's true. Trust God along the process. You may hear some hard "no's," but trust God that this is not the child for your family.

Professional Photos by Tiffany Brubaker Photography

***If you are interested in learning more about adoption and the services we provide at Christian Adoption Consultants, I would love to chat! Email me, Kelly Todd, at kelly@christianadoptionconsultants.com to request a FREE information packet!***

Video: My Journey With Christian Adoption Consultants

July 17, 2022 by Kelly Todd in Faith, Infertility, Adoption, Motherhood

Surrender In The Adoption Process (& Beyond)

September 09, 2020 by Kelly Todd in Adoption, Faith, Infertility

Control. Let's talk about that word for a minute. Control is defined as, "the power to influence or direct people's behavior or the course of events." When my husband and I were in the beginning stages of the adoption process we were busy filling out paperwork, setting up appointments for our home study, working on our profile, filling out adoption grant applications, fundraising, etc. There was so much we were doing early on at some point I developed what I would call a "false sense of control" over the adoption process.

This "false sense of control" wasn't completely unfamiliar territory. When we were in the beginning stages of trying to grow our family biologically there were times I felt like if I did everything perfectly, ate all the right things, took all the right supplements, worked out, tracked my days, prayed the right prayer, that we would overcome my infertility. But no positive pregnancy test ever came. "What's wrong with me? What's wrong with us? Why isn't this happening, God?" My sorrow led me to some very dark weeks, months and years.

I don't remember the day it happened, but one day God healed my heart. He didn't heal my heart with a positive pregnancy test, but rather He created in me a heart of trust and surrender to His plans for our family. That didn't mean all the tears were gone or that we “finished” grieving the reality of my infertility, but it provided great comfort to know that the Lord was with us. He was with us. He had a plan. He hadn't forgotten about us just because growing our family was starting to look different than how we initially pictured it. I would describe myself as having clenched fists through most of our infertility journey. But when the Holy Spirit gave me the strength to release my expectations to the Lord, peace came. I traded in my clenched fists with open hands and I placed my desires at the feet of the cross.

I will have to admit that I can be stubborn and had a bit "relearning" of this to do when we started the adoption process. When things weren't working out quite like I expected they would, when we were met with disappointment, when we had no idea if the adoption grants would come through or how we would fund our adoption, I was tempted to sink back into old habits. And I did for a little bit. But I was quickly reminded of how uncomfortable that false sense of control really is. I'm so grateful that I didn't sit in that space for too long and that the Lord quickly reminded me of the better option-surrendering my desires to the Lord. Over the past decade I have learned that surrendering our wants, desires, and expectations, isn't a one and done thing. As a Christian it's a continual process. And through Jesus' blood shed on the cross we have access to the help of the Holy Spirit to help us do just that.

Sometimes we hold on to things too tightly because we mistakenly assume that if we let go everything will fall apart. We are afraid we will miss out on the thing we are holding onto. I think that's putting a little too much confidence in ourselves, don't you? We aren't in control of the cosmos. The Lord is. There is something freeing about letting go. We aren't letting go to nothingness. We are letting go because we trust the One who upholds the Universe with the palm of His hands. We are letting go because His ways are so much better than ours. We are letting go because we know that our God is a loving Father who tenderly cares for His children. We are letting go so that we can experience freedom from striving and enter the rest Jesus talks about in Matthew 11.

Perhaps you are walking through a difficult trial right now. Perhaps things aren’t working out like you expected they would. Maybe you are walking through the adoption process and feel overwhelmed by the "false sense of control“ that you have taken on. It doesn’t have to be this way. You don’t have to feel overwhelmed by the weight of it all. I encourage you to ask the Lord for help. Ask Him to help you surrender your desires and expectations at the foot of the cross because His plans for you are so much better than the ones you have for yourself.

***If you are interested in learning more about adoption and the services we provide at Christian Adoption Consultants, I would love to chat! Feel free to email me at kelly@christianadoptionconsultants.com and check out Christian Adoption Consultants for more information!***

Adoption Story: Jonathan + Alli

May 19, 2020 by Kelly Todd in Adoption

I remember the very first time I spoke with Alli and Jonathan. I knew there was something very special about this sweet couple and I couldn’t wait to get to know them more throughout their journey! They signed on with Christian Adoption Consultants a few months after our initial call. Once they were home study ready I sent them a situation that they immediately connected with. They couldn’t wait to present their profile and letter to this sweet mama! This was the very first and only situation they presented to, as they were chosen after 3 months of being home study ready! Jonathan and Alli, it has been such a joy getting to know your family and walking with you guys through your adoption journey! Your little guy is such a joy and I have been so encouraged watching your relationship with his birth family unfold. God is so good! I pray you would be encouraged by their story this evening!

We asked the Lord to build our family in His timing and in His way and it’s been an adventure ever since! I would like to say that we always had surrendered hearts when it came to building our family, but that wasn’t the case. It took us years of infertility and heartache to get there. We walked through the pain of a miscarriage and battled with the fears and confusion of infertility before we came to a point where we honestly desired God’s plan for our family instead of our own. It was during a time of pouring-our-hearts-out prayer that God met us in our brokenness and graciously reminded us that He knows. He knew how we were feeling, He knew why we couldn’t get pregnant and He knew all the plans He had/has for us and our future family. He reminded us that He see’s the whole picture, that He is good and that we can trust Him to write our story. So, we placed our future family and our trust in Jesus’s hands. We gave Him our hopes and dreams of having a family and in return He gave us His heart for ADOPTION.

Over the next few months we learned as much as we could about adoption. After talking to several families and praying through all of our options we decided to sign on with Kelly at Christian Adoption Consultants and pursue a domestic infant adoption.

From day one of our home study we were very aware of our need for God to provide. We felt called to move forward with the adoption process but at the time we didn’t know where the funds would come from. For a while this paralyzed us from moving forward but after some more time in prayer we were reminded of the story of the fishes and loaves. We believe God wanted us to give Him what little we had and let Him fill the basket. And did He ever! From start to finish our God provided every penny and more. We are completely humbled and amazed at His provision and everything we needed came at just the right time.

We were actually cleaning up from our adoption benefit event when we got an email that changed our lives. It was a profile of an expecting mother who was due to have a baby boy in three months. We prayed about this opportunity and decided to send this brave momma our profile book. After a few weeks of waiting we found out that we were chosen and our hearts overflowed with joy and gratitude!

We saw God’s hand and provision through every step of this process and to this day we remain in awe of all that He has done and continues to do! You see, the birth of our son Jaden wasn’t the end of our story. In a lot of ways it was just the beginning of a long-lasting relationship with his birth mom and brothers. We love them dearly and consider them family. God knew what He was doing, He is still writing and we look forward to see how this next chapter unfolds!

It was during our most uncertain and difficult times throughout the adoption process that we were able to witness God’s faithfulness most abundantly. To those of you in the wait, we want to take this opportunity to remind you that wherever God leads, He provides. Seek His face in prayer and continue to move forward in faith even when it seems impossible.

***If you are interested in learning more about adoption and the services we provide at Christian Adoption Consultants, I would love to chat! Feel free to email me at kelly@christianadoptionconsultants.com and check out Christian Adoption Consultants for more information!***

Repost: Fear In The Adoption Process

April 23, 2020 by Kelly Todd in Adoption

How will we afford the cost associated with adoption? What if the expectant mother decides to parent? What if there is a history of mental health issues? What if the expectant mother used drugs or alcohol during pregnancy? Are we too old to be considered? Do we have too many children to be desirable to an expectant mother?

As an adoption consultant these questions, concerns and fears enter the conversation quite frequently. But, I can relate. When my husband and I started our adoption journey we had similar concerns. Below, I will examine a few of the most common questions I receive as a consultant.

1. How will we afford the cost associated with adoption? Adoption can be expensive. The cost associated with adoption was one our biggest concerns before walking into the process. If this is one of your fears you are not alone. I would say it’s one of the most common questions I get asked about when a family is inquiring about adoption, “How will we afford it?” And yet, time and time again I see families blown away by the faithfulness of God through the generosity of friends, family and even complete strangers. At Christian Adoption Consultants, we also provide our families with resources and tools on how to fund their adoption through grants, loans, and fundraising.

2. What if the expectant mother changes her mind? Although Christian Adoption Consultants has a lower adoption failure rate (< 20%) than the nation wide failure rate (50-60%), there will always be some level of risk in the adoption process. When a woman is considering an adoption plan for her child, she is making one of the most difficult decisions of her life. Placing a child for adoption is a sacrificial and selfless act of unconditional love. Unless you've walked through this yourself, than you can't possibly understand the thoughts and feelings that surround this decision. No one can predict whether or not an expectant mother will change her mind. However, if you are living and breathing on this earth, then risk is inevitable. You can’t be immune to it; it’s a part of life. A gynecologist can’t guarantee a full-term pregnancy, as there is 1 in 4 chances that a woman will miscarry. But that risk doesn’t prevent couples from trying. There are many potential side effects of prescription drugs and medicine, and yet the majority rarely think twice about taking a pill. At CAC we walk with our families and assist them in navigating the warnings signs to reduce the levels of risks associated with the adoption process.

3. What if there is a history of mental health issues or the expectant mother used drugs or alcohol during pregnancy? I often hear couples say, “We just want a healthy baby.” Drug and alcohol exposure during pregnancy and a history of mental health issues are not uncommon in adoption. The desire for a healthy child isn’t abnormal, but in reality this is something that can’t be guaranteed, even in what some would consider the “best case scenario.” If you are considering adoption, please know that I don’t share this information with you to evoke fear. Rather, I share this to remind you that risk is a part of life and adoption is no exception. I'm confident that God equips families with His grace and strength to handle whatever circumstances may come their way.

4. Will we ever get chosen? Many couples express concerns about whether or not their family will be desirable to an expectant mother. “Are we too old? Are we too young? Do we have too many children?” Every expectant mother has their own set of preferences for an adoptive family. Perhaps one expectant mother may desire a family with many children for her little one to play with. Another expectant mother may prefer a family who has a history of infertility because she feels as though she is giving them something they cannot give themselves. Regardless of your situation, God is using everything about your family to connect with an expectant mother, even when you can’t quite see what He is up to.

When my husband and I were functioning and making decisions through a “what I can handle” lens, fear quickly became a familiar visitor. However, our worry began dissipating when we stopped thinking with an autonomous mentality and started reminding ourselves that our source of strength does not begin or end with ourselves. It is God who equips us with all that we need to journey through this life (and the adoption process)! It also brought us great comfort to know that we couldn’t mess up or miss out on the story God was writing for our family.

If we had let fear govern our decision-making, we probably never would have started the adoption process. And then we would have missed out on the two biggest blessings of our life: Roman and Ruby. Fears and concerns may arise and when they do my prayer is that you would remember the Author who is writing your story-the One who will equip with you everything you need to accomplish everything He will bring along your path.

Adoption Story: Michael + Chelsey

February 18, 2019 by Kelly Todd

I remember the first time I spoke with Michael and Chelsey over the phone. We talked for at least an hour and I knew within minutes that there was something special about this couple. As their adoption consultant, I not only had the honor of guiding them through the adoption process, I got to know them very well throughout their journey! And I can tell you that I have seen them walk through the unknowns, heartache and loss with the kind of joy and hope that can only be found in Jesus Christ. As Chelsey beautifully explains below, their story is one of God’s faithfulness, grace, mercy and unconditional love. It is my prayer that you will be encouraged by their faith, as I have.

“The faithful love of the Lord never ends! His mercies never cease.
Great is his faithfulness; his mercies begin afresh each morning.”
-Lamentations 3: 22-23-

A mother takes her young son into a store. The store owner approaches the young boy and tells him to take a hand full of candy. The young boy looks up to the store owner and asks if he would get the candy for him. Later that day the mother asks her son, “Why did you ask the store owner to get your candy instead of getting it yourself?” The boy replies, “because his hands are bigger than mine.”

A coworker of Michael told us that story as we packed to go to Florida to await the birth of our baby girl. I couldn’t fully comprehend the meaning behind the story at the time. All I could do was trust. Trust that God’s hands were bigger than mine and He would give us more than we could grab ourselves. Now I understand.

Michael and I knew pretty quickly that we wanted to be parents. It was just the next step and we had no reason to believe we would encounter any problems. Until we did. And the months turned into years. The “trying” turned into diagnoses and surgeries and procedures. The hope turned into despair. The dream turned into a very cruel reality that having biological children was not likely.

We knew that adoption was next. After giving ourselves time to heal from the excruciating loss of that dream, we began researching and pretty quickly decided we were interested in hiring a consultant. We made a phone call to Christian Adoption Consultants in December 2017. Let me tell you, I don’t think I’ve ever been so nervous in my life to make a phone call. No answer, but shortly thereafter we received a call back from Kelly Todd. It only took a few minutes for Kelly’s kind, soft voice to dissipate my fears and anxieties about the call. After speaking with her, we decided to dive in. In January 2018 we signed on with CAC and truly began our adoption journey.

By June we were home study approved and ready and excited to begin receiving situations! I’m not sure what I expected but the realities of a large majority of these situations left my heart heavy. I remember asking Kelly if they would all be that way and her answer shed a new light on the journey. She explained that adoption is full of brokenness. Expectant mamas are making an adoption plan for their baby because of the difficult situation they are in. They want a better life for their child. I don’t know what kind of fantasy land I was living in or why, but I needed that explanation. We received a ton of situations, some we presented to and some we didn’t. We didn’t know how to choose whether or not to present and I’m so thankful for a conversation with Kelly during which she reminded me that there was nothing we could do or not do that would ruin God’s plan for our family.

The first few times we presented we were met with “She has decided to move ahead with another family.” Ugh. It was incredibly disappointing. I couldn’t understand what was “wrong” with us. While presenting to one particular situation and awaiting the expectant mother’s decision, I remember feeling defeated. I remember sitting on our couch crying and I looked at Michael and said, “I just want a ‘yes’. I don’t think we’re ever going to get a ‘yes’.” The next day we received a phone call that the expectant mama had chosen us! She said “yes” to us! We were matched! Unfortunately, within just a few weeks, our match failed. Shattered. Our hearts were shattered. Our “yes” turned into an ugly, glaring, painful “no.” Our families told us to take time, that we needed a break. Others told us it was okay to stop trying. I kneeled on the floor of this beautiful nursery in our new home and sobbed. I had been thinking all along that I was believing and trusting in God and in that moment I knew I had not. Not really. I wanted God to give me MY gift the way I wanted it in MY time.

Something about that failed match lit a fire inside of both of us. We were finally “all in.” No more fear, no more analyzing or assessing, no more trying to control, no more forcing. Just trusting. Just saying “yes” to God, down whatever road He would have us go. Just a few weeks later we found out that an expectant mama we were presenting to had chosen us. Being scared would have been the easiest thing to do, but we had vowed to choose faith over fear, so we did. With hope and joy, we gave our hearts to this expectant mama. Less than seven weeks later, she laid her heart, in the form of her beautiful newborn baby girl, in our arms.

I can’t begin to describe the feelings. The pain, the waiting, the longing, the emptiness, the barrenness, the grief, the loss… it all culminated into that moment when we walked into a labor and delivery room at 3:30 AM after driving 10 hours through the night and had our baby girl laid into my arms.

We have been floating since. Our sweet girl turned 10 weeks old today and I still can’t help but stare at her and cry, because of my love for her but also because of God’s love for us. She’s absolutely perfect. God’s hands were so much bigger than mine or Michael’s.

Does it all make perfect sense now? Some would tell you “yes”, but I’ll be honest with you and tell you “No, not exactly.” My little mind is just not capable of understanding God in all his power and wisdom. What I do know, what does make perfect sense, is that God knows. I don’t know when or how or why he chose this baby girl for us. I can’t begin to fathom, but I know I’m as proud of her as if I had made her myself. I know that God knew how our story would unfold long before we did. I know that God is incredible and I stand in complete wonder and awe of His amazing love.

The process of adopting was not an easy one. There were days when it was just hard, in every sense. There were moments when I couldn’t find the strength to even dream of holding our child in my arms. Each and every time, though, God sustained us. God lifted us up, he strengthened us, he renewed our hope, and he covered us in his faithfulness. Like he has always done and like he will always do. Our story is not one of our faith or endurance, but of God’s grace and mercy. Of his ability and willingness to grab a handful of candy for us because his hands are so much bigger than ours and he can hold abundantly more.

***If you are interested in learning more about adoption and the services we provide at Christian Adoption Consultants, I would love to chat! Feel free to email me, Kelly Todd, at kelly@christianadoptionconsultants.com and check out Christian Adoption Consultants for more information!***

Adoption Story: Derek + Shannon

September 24, 2018 by Kelly Todd in Adoption

I chatted with Shannon for the very first time around Christmas last year. I remember her talking about how it had been snowing there recently and they had been outside playing with their four boys. It has been such a joy getting to know their sweet family and have a front row seat to all of the incredible ways that God has provided. They signed on with Christian Adoption Consultants in January and in less than two months they were chosen to be the parents of a little girl by her brave birth mama. Shannon shares more of their story below.

Adoption was something that Derek and I talked about early on in our marriage. We wanted to wait on God’s timing and for His plan to be made clear. Looking back over the past 10 years- what a journey it has been. We decided to try and start a family shortly before our one year wedding anniversary. I know- so soon?! But we were both settled in our jobs, we felt financially secure, and let’s be honest- I have always loved babies and couldn’t wait to start that chapter in our lives. Over the next few years we had four boys about 2 years a part. However, we felt like our family wasn’t complete. Watching close friends journey through foster care and domestic adoption, our hearts were being tugged at more and more.

I was ready to start the adoption process quite a bit before Derek was. I talked about it all the time. I felt like I was often nagging him about getting on the same page and wondered, “God, why are you calling me to something so huge, but not my husband?!” I decided to lay low for awhile and completely drop the topic and just pray. So for a few months that’s what I did. Finally, in October o f 2017 after we both spent time in prayer, Derek said that he really felt we should start the process towards adoption…NOW!

After discussing our options with a friend who recently adopted, I called Christian Adoption Consultants and spoke with Kelly Todd. I loved the idea of hiring an adoption consultant to walk with us through the entire process. Because let’s be honest, we were total newbies and we had no idea what we were doing. Simply just chatting with Kelly and getting information from her was like talking to an old friend. I felt my eyes literally tear up at times during the conversation when talking about that missing piece of the family, and our hearts for adoption. Kelly was so helpful and made us feel very comfortable and confident throughout our entire journey.

After our home study was complete near the end of January 2018, we signed on with CAC. Shortly after we received our first situation. We were so excited to give our “yes” for the first time, but knew very well not to expect things to happen right away. Over the next month, we said “yes” to 3 more situations. Every “no” felt more like a “not yet” to us, and we trusted that God wouldn’t let us miss out on His plan for our family. There were times when we doubted and we wondered if we’d ever be chosen by an expectant mama. Some of the doubt specifically came from the fact that we already have 4 biological children. What would an expectant mom think about that? But time and time again we heard God telling us just to trust Him. And so we did.

Near the end of March we presented to another situation. The next day, as I was building a snowman with the boys outside during a freak March snowstorm, my cell phone rang with a number I didn’t recognize. But by the area code I figured it was the agency calling to tell us that the expectant mama chose to move forward with another family. I was shocked when she explained to us that we were chosen. It was us- this was really happening! There was just something about this sweet little baby girl having four older brothers to protect her that made us stand out. Derek pulled in from work just a few minutes later and I ran outside (barefoot and all) onto the ice and snow telling him that we were matched! It was exciting, but nerve wracking all at once. We had a few months until the expectant mother’s due date. Having time to prepare was good, but it wasn’t always easy. It was difficult waiting in the unknown and we still struggled with doubt sometimes. Our faith was tested almost daily, but God continued to show up. He showed up during our fundraisers-helping us cram in two huge events in that time frame. He showed up with our community- with the support and love and prayers we felt all the time. He was faithful and He provided for us in so many ways.

When Derek and I discovered that the expectant mother wanted me with her in the delivery room, we thought it would be best if I headed in that direction a week early. Derek would plan on coming later. My mom graciously traveled out with there early with me. A few days later we were able to have lunch with Mama A and get to know her. When we first met she greeted me with the biggest hug. It was if we had been friends forever. We also met her parents that day, who were extremely supportive and made my mom and I feel like we were family. Saturday morning my mom left and headed back home to take care of our boys. I was in the unfamiliar city alone and continued waiting to get the call that Mama A was in labor. Clinging to God and trusting His plan for us was all I could do during that time. Monday night before bed I specifically remember crying out to God, as so many emotions came over me that night as I lay in bed.

After receiving confirmation in the middle of the night that Mama A was admitted into the hospital, I called Derek to tell him to get on the next plane and I took an Uber over to the hospital. I was completely honored that she wanted me to be in the delivery room with her. It was such a special time and one that I will never forget. I held her hand and supported her, as she bravely brought her daughter into the world. After the birth she reached out to me and we hugged and cried for a very long time. I don’t think there was a dry eye in the room. A few hours later, Derek arrived and there could have not been a sweeter reunion.

Over the next few days we continued to get to know our daughter’s brave birth mama. We are so inspired by her courage and the unconditional love she has for her little girl. We, along with her birth mother, named our daughter, Selah Nakora. Selah means ‘to pause and reflect’, or another interpretation says ‘to praise.’ We couldn’t think of a more fitting name for our baby.

As soon as we brought Selah home our boys were so smitten with her and have already stepped into the “big brother” role so well. Our daughter is such a miracle baby in so many ways and we are so blessed to be her mom and dad.

“Not to us, Lord, not to us, but to Your name, be the glory, because of your love &faithfulness.” - Psalm 115:1-