Adoption Story: Ryan + Lauren

March 12, 2022 by Kelly Todd in Adoption

I will never forget when Ryan and Lauren called and expressed their desire to pursue adoption. They signed on with me at CAC just a few short months after our initial call. The journey to their daughter was not easy, but as they share, every mountain they climbed to get to her was well worth the wait. Through all of the no’s, through all of delays and setbacks, through COVID and in the middle of a Texas ice storm…they never gave up! Ryan and Lauren, it was an honor to walk with you guys through the adoption process. What a joy it has been to see your story unfold! God’s grace is so very evident over every detail.

If you have been in the adoption journey for a while, then you already know. If you are just starting, then you will quickly learn. This process is one of the most challenging things that your marriage and faith may ever go through. But the ways God will work in your heart throughout this journey are absolutely amazing. If you can push aside the distractions of the enemy, you quickly see that your relationship and faith will be stronger. Our story was about to end with us quitting. But God intervened.

We had been struggling to conceive a child for several years prior. My wife and I both had health issues that were contributing factors. After unsuccessful procedures and a couple major health scares, we decided that having children biologically was probably not going to happen.

At that point, the thought of adoption was not on our minds yet. We had not even considered it. Then, God placed a little girl in our lives. She was staying with a family, which we are good friends with. Her mother had been struggling with drug use and she was going to stay with our friends until her mother got better. We immediately developed a relationship with this little girl. We grew to love this little girl and as our love grew for her, God laid adoption on our hearts.

In 2018 we signed on with Kelly at Christian Adoption Consultants and we jumped right into our adoption journey. I would say our journey for the most part was pretty typical. We finished our home study and profile book. We applied to adoption agencies and attorneys. Situations would become available to present our profile; we would apply and then they would say we were not selected. Then, we would have another; we would apply and then they would say we were not selected. Then another, and another, and another and then the questions started popping up in our head. “Is there something wrong with us?", "Do we need to be trying something different?", or the dreaded, “Should we be doing this at all?”.

Every time we were not selected for a situation our minds would turn it into a big NO! Believe me after so many of those, it really started to hurt. We were starting to feel the struggle of it mentally and we allowed some of the questions to get to us. All the way to the point of giving ourselves a date of no more. We renewed our contracts with CAC and our Home Study Agency, and we told ourselves this was the last time. The enemy had finally gotten to us, and we were going to quit. BUT THEN GOD.

At the end of January we received a phone call from one of the adoption agencies that we had been working with. They told us about a mother who was choosing adoption for her baby. Something felt different about this situation, but we didn’t know what it was, so we asked them to give us a few moments and think it over. We got off the phone, talked to each other and contacted Kelly, our Adoption Consultant. After speaking with her, we felt good about moving forward. We called the adoption agency back and told them that we would love to present our profile. She immediately said she was glad we had decided to move forward, as the expecting mother wanted the agency to choose and they had chosen us. We immediately felt a flood of emotions! All of the years of waiting, years of "no's" that we had interpreted as rejection, years of not feeling adequate, had ended with a simple, YES!

The agency shared with us that the expecting mother would like to name her child. We asked if they knew what she would like to name her. “Yes, she would like for her name to be Angeline.” We were amazed and shocked! A couple months before my wife had lost her Aunt Angie. Angie was the one that gave my wife her middle name, Nichole. Angeline fit perfectly-Angeline Nichole, it was.

Her due date was March 2nd so we started planning quickly! But we didn't get too far with it because she came about a month early! She was born in Texas. We live in Illinois- a short 16.5 hours drive if conditions are good. But we drove through an ice storm that shut down Texas. Once again, God took control of the situation and saw us through. We made it to Texas in great time, considering the conditions.

Once we got to our destination, we settled into our hotel room and started figuring out when we could go see our baby girl. The agency informed us that she was in NICU because she was not eating on her own just yet. Due to COVID restrictions they were only allowing one visitor at a time. Our first thought was, "How are we supposed to bond with our child one at a time, for a small window, once every 24 hours?" But God had other plans. He placed amazing nurses in our path that pushed for the Medical Director to allow us more time with her.

When she was eating better we were finally able to take her back to our hotel. Twice during the first few nights that we had her with us we lost power for several hours. Typically, being in Texas, you wouldn’t be worried about this. But the weather conditions weren't favorable, as this black out was caused by a record setting winter storm. Stores started running out of food, fuel was becoming limited, but God put us in a place where people did not cause more chaos. This town came together and helped each other. The hotel made sure the people that stayed there had at least 2 meals a day. The surrounding gas stations made sure people stayed orderly and everyone had a fair chance at getting fuel. Even when people told us something was going to be a big roadblock, God made a way.

When we began the interstate paperwork for the adoption, we were warned that it could possibly take twice as long as normal due to everything that had been going on with COVID and the storm. Typically, it should take anywhere from 7-10 business days for it to process. They told us we should be prepared for over 14 days. It took only 4. God was with us in every detail.

Our story is a reminder to us of God's faithfulness. Angeline came into our lives February 10th. It was the day we were meant to become parents. All of the waiting, heartache, struggle and frustration all disappeared. This is the day we had been waiting for. It gives a new meaning to, “This is the day that the Lord has made. I will rejoice and be glad in it" (Psalm 118:24).

***If you are interested in learning more about adoption and the services we provide at Christian Adoption Consultants, I would love to chat! Email me, Kelly Todd, at kelly@christianadoptionconsultants.com to request a FREE information packet!***

Adoption Story: Michael & Chelsey Adopt Again!

September 17, 2021 by Kelly Todd in Adoption

I had the pleasure of walking with Michael and Chelsey through their first adoption a few years ago. I was amazed by their faith and perseverance through the ups and downs of the process that led them to their beautiful daughter. This journey the second time around has been no different. Michael and Chelsey, it has been an honor walking with you through your second adoption and the journey that led you to your son. Thank you for entrusting me with such an important piece of your family’s story. Chelsey said it best, “One day you will look back and say the same thing I do, which is ‘I would do it all over again. As many times as it took. To get to you.’”

In 2018, after multiple unsuccessful attempts at conceiving children including a failed IVF cycle, my husband and I felt the Lord leading us to adoption as the way to grow our family. We worked with Kelly Todd at CAC and by the end of that year we held in our arms the most amazing display of God’s love and goodness in our newborn daughter, Campbell. Fast forward some incredible years later and we felt God leading us to pursue adoption. We were thrilled to see how God would work again!

In the summer we received a situation of an expecting mother due just a few weeks later. I called Michael and blurted out a few very vague details and asked him to read through and let me know his thoughts. Without hesitation Michael said, “Let’s go for it!” Our first adoption taught us to surrender ourselves to God’s will, and we had been. We had said “yes” to every situation that was presented to us. We applied to each one and felt the sting of each “no”, but we trusted God. His willingness to take such a big leap of faith inspired me and I instantly felt an optimism I had not yet felt. With great hope I submitted our information.

The following week we learned that the expecting mother had given birth to a baby boy. The agency needed to know which families were ready to travel. I didn’t hesitate when I replied, “We want to present! We are ready and able to go ASAP!” I packed up our family profile book and overnighted it. Our excitement was palpable! Until the next morning around 8am central time when I checked the tracking which showed our profile book was stuck in Tennessee somewhere. I immediately felt sick and told Michael. After a few minutes he said, “Wait, doesn’t your mom have a copy of our profile book? Maybe she could deliver it to them?” My mom lived about an hour from the attorney’s office and it just so happened that I had given her a copy of our profile book on Mother’s Day. At that point we were hoping to keep it all a secret from our families, but we knew our only chance lied in my mom, so I picked up the phone and called her. After waking her up, hurriedly explaining what was going on, she was on her way to deliver the profile book.

As we went through our first adoption I wasn’t able to see the “God winks” as they were happening. It was only after we brought our daughter home that I was able to reflect and revel in the ways God beautifully worked out each tiny detail. This time I felt as if I could see and feel in real time each “wink” from God, Michael’s leap of faith, my mom’s role in delivering our profile book. On the other hand, there is a very real potential for pain that urges you to guard your heart, and the balance is ever so delicate.

A few days passed, no news. A few more days, no news. Then, we discovered that she needed more time to make her decision. We continued praying for her and that the Lord would give her peace in whatever she decided. At times we didn’t even know how to pray over the situation, but we trusted that God knew the prayers of our heart, even the ones that we didn’t know how to put into words.

Later that week we got a call from the attorney informing us that she wanted to speak to us on the phone. Over an hour later, after an incredible conversation filled with tears, laughter, and sharing our deepest feelings, she told us that she wanted us to be his parents. She shared that she felt an instant connection to us the moment she looked at our profile and knew all along it was us!

We hung up the phone, loaded our car and headed straight there. Less than 24 hours after our call with our son’s amazing birth mother we held our two-week old son, Cohen, for the very first time, and began the incredible journey of life as a family of four.

I will never tell anyone that the adoption journey is easy. We heard several no’s and although I thought they would somehow sting less the second time, they didn’t. What I was able to cling to was the proof of God’s faithfulness in our 2-year old daughter, who we adopted at birth. Maybe you’re walking through your first adoption right now and you don’t have that tangible proof to cling to. I know that pain. But I feel confident that you can look back through your life and find God “winks” all over. There is evidence of God’s faithfulness all around. Sometimes we have to dig deep to feel it, to see it, to believe it. It isn’t always a flashing neon sign. But it is there. He is there. To sustain you, to uphold you, to strengthen you, to grow you, to provide you, to encourage you, to give you rest, to fulfill His promises of goodness to you.

I know how insanely difficult this journey can be. It is incredible and beautiful and worth it, but it is not always easy to see that when you are surrounded by uncertainty and brokenness and rejection. I know those feelings. I cried often. I questioned myself and God. Even holding my daughter, the tangible proof of God’s goodness, I still had moments of doubt. So will you. Doubt, sadness, uncertainty, anger-what I’ve learned about those feelings, though, is that I can visit them but I can’t live in them. In the hardest and darkest of times, you must pull yourself out of the deafening silence of those emotions and place yourself back onto the solid foundation of Christ. “As for everyone who comes to me and hears my words and puts them into practice, I will show you what they are like. They are like a man building a house, who dug down deep and laid the foundation on rock. When a flood came, the torrent struck that house but could not shake it, because it was well built.” Luke 6:47-48

I still remain amazed by God’s works. This journey has been the most incredible honor. It has been a place of great growth and strength. Years ago I didn’t want this kind of growth or strength. I didn’t want to have to suffer and struggle and fight this way for my family. But God had a different plan. A better plan. A perfect plan. I will praise him all the days of my life, because He is the God of the valley just as He is the God of the mountaintop. Give Him your whole trust and He will show you beauty you could only imagine, abundantly more than you could imagine.

One day you will look back and say the same thing I do, which is “I would do it all over again. As many times as it took. To get to you.”

Refinement In The Waiting Room

August 11, 2021 by Kelly Todd in Adoption

Oncology waiting rooms aren't unfamiliar to me. I've spent a great deal of time and energy in those spaces. As someone who has beat cancer a handful of times, I'm very accustomed to waiting. But please don't let me fool you, just because I'm familiar with waiting in unknown spaces does not equate to any mastery of it. However, God, in His rich mercy and kindness has allowed me to learn a thing or two from walking some down some very scary times of uncertainty. You might be thinking, "Kelly, what does your cancer have to do with our adoption process?" Because all of us have our own "waiting room" experiences. If you've spent any time at all in the adoption process, you know exactly what I mean.

Your current waiting place may look different than someone else's, but they all entail a similar component: uncertainty. When will our home study be done? When will an expectant mother choose us? When will we see the next adoption situation? When will we get the call that baby is on the way? How much longer until consents are signed? When will ICPC be complete?

Today I want to share with you three nuggets of truth that the Lord has taught me over the years. I pray the Holy Spirit will use them to minister to your heart—wherever you are in your waiting room.

1. God is working in you through the wait. Because God is in control of all things and desires good things for His children, we can assume that this wait is a part of God's loving and good plan for us. As a result of my cancer and infertility "waiting room experiences,” I became desperately more aware of my daily, moment-by-moment, breath-by-breath, can't-take-another-step-with-out-you need for Jesus. It was through all of those moments, days, weeks and years of uncertainty that I learned the depths of God's grace and found there was no end to it. It was through the hard things that God kept my heart close to His through the necessity of prayer. Out of this dormant space, a resilient spirit—deeply rooted in God's love—emerged from the grave. I'm certain if I hadn't been through the fire, I wouldn't be the mother, wife, friend, or consultant I am today. If you're in a waiting room right now, you can be certain that God is working in you through the wait.

"Count it all joy, my brothers, when you meet trials of various kinds, for you know that the testing of your faith produces steadfastness. And let steadfastness have its full effect, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing" (James 1:2-4).

2. God hasn't forgotten about you. Sometimes when things aren't working out like we expected they would, we can be tempted to think that God has forgotten about us. The stillness can often make us feel isolated, alone or abandoned—like a ship lost at sea. But that is not the truth. It may feel really true to us, but we can't always trust our feelings, which often are moved and changed by circumstance. But God and His Word remain constant. God has not promised that the road will be easy, but His steadfast promise is to always be with us.

"Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or terrified because of them, for the Lord your God goes with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you" (Deuteronomy 31:6).

3. God's timing is perfect. Although this is phrase is thrown around a lot, that doesn't invalidate or minimize its truth. As an Adoption Consultant with CAC I see this through the intricate details of each and every narrative God writes for my families. He is the author. He holds the pen. His timing is perfect. But sometimes, as a bystander, it's difficult to see what He is up to. Oftentimes we can't see the masterpiece He is creating until the work is finished. When a family walks through an interrupted adoption, the pain will seem unbearable. However, when they are on the other side of the adoption process, rocking their child to sleep at night, they’ll be certain that God's timing is perfect. If their story had unfolded any differently, the child they call "son" or "daughter" wouldn't be in their arms. That doesn't mean that their previous loss wasn't painful, but it does help them comprehend God’s beneficial timeline.

"In their hearts humans plan their course, but the Lord establishes their steps" (Proverbs 16:9).

Friends, if you’re struggling to trust God in the wait, ask Him to help you believe these truths. Your understanding and clarity is coming soon. Waiting is never wasted with God.

He Withholds No Good Thing

April 26, 2021 by Kelly Todd in Infertility, Faith, Adoption, Motherhood

For the LORD God is a sun and shield; the LORD bestows favor and honor.
No good thing does he withhold from those who walk uprightly.
Psalm 84:11

He withholds no good thing. These 5 words have been nourishment for my heart. God's Word, His promise, has been a healing balm to my spirit. I've clung to these words tightly over the past decade of my life and even more so over the past few years.

I've asked God about His goodness and these “good things” while walking through some of the darkest nights. "Are you really good, God? I know you say that you withhold no good thing from your children, but I can't make sense of this."

Negative pregnancy tests.
Miscarriage and loss.
Cancer surgery after cancer surgery.
Unanswered prayers.

The other day I was sharing with a friend how I was desperately struggling with an unanswered prayer. But felt a lot of guilt around not being able to really believe that God wasn't withholding good from me. Because that’s how it felt…like God was withholding this from me.

She reminded me, "Kelly, I think it's okay to not feel okay right now." Her words rushed over my entire body from head to toe-body, mind and spirit. Then, a feeling of release ensued. All at once I felt the propensity of the weight I had been carrying. I recognized and named each thorn, each scar, and every piece of me that felt broken. I didn't try to make sense of it. I didn't try to push through immediately and find the purpose in the pain. Instead, I brought all of these broken pieces and fragments to Jesus. I laid them at His feet. I told Him I wasn't okay. I told Him how much my heart hurt. I told Him I didn't understand. I asked Him to help me. I told Him, “I know in your Word it says ‘you withhold no good thing from your children,’ but I’m struggling to believe this right now. Help me believe. Help me really believe."

Perhaps you can relate- the inner turmoil of knowing what God’s Word says, but your heart lagging behind, struggling to really believe. “God I know in your Word you say you have good things in store for me, but I just can’t see it now. Sometimes it feels like you are withholding this good thing from me.” If this is you, than I want you to know that you are not alone. I’m right there with you. I didn’t write this in “hindsight” looking back on the struggle. I’m in it now. I don’t have any quick fixes or cookie-cut answers for you. But I can tell what I’m doing. I’m continually running to the source of wisdom and asking Him to grant me wisdom and strength as I sit in the uncomfortableness and brokenness that comes with living in this fallen world.

The other day I was really struggling with this unanswered prayer and I didn’t feel like going to a conference that I was scheduled to attend. I made myself go anyway because I felt the Holy Spirit leading. As the speaker was sharing a bit of her story it resonated with some of the things I had been seeking the Lord about. I started tearing up because I knew that God wanted me in that room to hear everything the speaker had to say and in His kindness He got me there. I felt the Holy Spirit speaking directly to my heart as she continued to share,“Who told you that you’re missing out? Don’t you know that fullness is found in me!?”

Whatever you are going through-infertility, loss, the ups and downs of the adoption process, health issues, financial struggles, relationship issues, unanswered prayers, sit with the Holy Spirit and talk with Him about it. Ask Him for wisdom. God didn’t grant my unanswered prayer, but He gave me wisdom, generously, to be able to sit with the brokenness, while placing my hope in Christ and not my circumstances. He can do the same for you too, friend.

“If any of you lacks wisdom, you should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault,
and it will be given to you” (James 1:5)

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Adoption Story: Kenny + Laura

April 12, 2021 by Kelly Todd in Adoption

I had the pleasure of walking with Kenny and Laura through the adoption process. Perseverance is the word I would use to describe their character throughout the ups and downs of the journey to their baby girl. Adoption is not for the faint of heart and looking back I'm in awe of how the Lord gave Kenny and Laura the strength and faith to trust Him through the unknowns and uncertainty. Today Laura and Kenny share a bit of their journey that led them to their daughter.

Eighteen months ago we woke up and had our normal breakfast. During breakfast we received the phone call. "Are you ready to adopt?" That was the question we heard from the agency. We had been waiting for a year and 8 months so we were extremely ready and could not believe this was the call! The agency let us know that this expectant mama was in labor and asked us if we could be there that evening. It was about a 4 hr drive to the hospital. After discussing, talking to Kelly Todd, our consultant with Christian Adoption Consultants, we decided to go for it! So, we scrambled and made arrangements for our children and hit the road.

When we arrived at the hospital the nurses came and brought us to meet our baby girl. She was beautiful! After our visit we found a hotel for the night. The next couple of days were up and down. At one point we were told expectant mama had decided to parent. We understood, but were heartbroken. We called our consultant, Kelly, and family to tell them the news. Sadly, we started driving home. Then, hours into our drive we unexpectedly received a call that there was a miscommunication. She did in fact want us as the parents of her baby girl. We turned the car around and drove back as she was about to be released from the hospital and we wanted to make sure we got there as soon as possible.

Talking to Kelly was very helpful during this time to be reminded that God was in control of our situation and we could rest in that truth. It was quite a whirlwind, but through that time Shane and Shane’s song Psalm 130 became a comfort for us. "I wait for the LORD, my soul waits, and in his word I hope" (Psalm 130:5). This verse in particular brought us peace. We could not put our hope in having this baby girl join our family but we could put our hope in God, who cares and loves us. God was in control and knew what was best for our daughter, birth mom, and our family. We were called to love this baby girl and birth mom the best we could and trust God with the outcome. Our daughter has been an incredible blessing and joy to all of our family. We are thankful that we waited on God's timing and provision. His ways are always best. The waiting was hard at times, but knowing God had a plan made it easier to trust Him.

To families in the wait right now, our advice is to keep your hope in God and trust in His timing. Keep persevering because in the end you will look back and know for certain that the child you are holding in your arms was worth the wait.

Adoption & Fear In Presenting Your Profile

February 24, 2021 by Kelly Todd in Adoption

Fear is a common feeling that hopeful adoptive families typically encounter throughout the adoption process. What if we don't pass the home study? What if an expectant mother doesn't choose us? What if an expectant mother chooses to parent? What if the child we are matched with has medical issues we aren't equipped to handle? What if the adoption process takes longer than expected?

What I want to hone in on today is the fear that may arise as families consider whether or not to present their profile to a specific situation. After a family's home study and profile are complete they are able to start applying with agencies and begin seeing situations. The underlying feelings after reviewing their first situation may be a culmination of excitement, sadness, shock and fear. As I have journeyed through the adoption process before, I can relate. And I remind them that their thoughts and feelings are completely normal. But how do you manage fear when it seems to be lurking around every corner? How do you present to situations when you feel you are drowning in fear?

Ask God to help you get to the root of your fear. Seek the Lord in prayer first. Bring your fears and concerns before God and ask Him to help you sort through them and make sense of them. Here are some questions to help you navigate your decision:

Am I trusting God or am I letting fear calculate my every move? As Christians we can place our hope and comfort in the truth that God is in control of all things. This creates freedom in our hearts to move where the Holy Spirit leads, because we trust that we can't mess up or miss out on the plan God is writing for our family.
Am I holding out for the “perfect” situation? There is no such thing as a "perfect" situation or no-risk in adoption. Yes, there are times where situations will be less risky, but there will always be an element of risk in adoption. If you are holding out for the "perfect" situation, you may never put your "yes" on the table.
Am I allowing room for God to work outside my preferences? Sometimes we come into the adoption process with our own set of preferences. At CAC our families are able to specify their adoption preferences. Oftentimes, however, I've seen families step outside those preferences when God prompts them to do so. It's an act of obedience and leap of faith. But I've never had a family look back on that decision with regret. As you calculate your preferences, are you keeping your hands open to the Lord?
Am I being unrealistic with my feelings about a situation? If you are expecting yourself to have 100% peace and 0% fear whatsoever before moving forward you may never present. Although this is common to think/feel this way, it's an unrealistic expectation to have. We always encourage couples to be on the same page with whatever they decide. However, it's important to know there will typically always be some unanswered questions and some level of uncertainty in most adoption situations.
Am I seeking God in prayer in every situation that crosses my eyes? This is the most important thing to do. Be in prayer. Seek God in prayer with every situation that you encounter. Ask God to direct your steps and give you wisdom. Although it's important to seek guidance from your adoption consultant, there is no better council than that which comes from the Lord. Seek Him first! Also, if you choose not to present, continue praying for the expectant mother and her baby. What a privilege it is to ask God to help her as she considers adoption.

Adoption: When You Feel Like Giving Up

January 26, 2021 by Kelly Todd in Adoption

"We're exhausted. We've presented more times than we can count. We prayed about pursuing adoption for years before we even started the process! Why would God bring us to this journey if we would only be met with ‘no’ after ‘no,’ delays and disappointments? Did we miss something?"

As an Adoption Consultant with CAC I have the privilege and honor of walking families through the adoption process from the very beginning of their journey until they have their baby in their arms. I am very passionate about helping families in this way. It's a blessing and a calling I do not take lightly.

People outside of the adoption process may struggle to understand the intricacies and complexities of this sacred space. I know this to be true because my families have shared it with me. "No one gets it. My family, my friends- they just don't understand the roller coaster of emotions that we go through on a daily basis."

But I get it. The team at Christian Adoption Consultants understands. The adoption process can be exhausting. And yet "exhausting" doesn't even seem to fully encapsulate all of the feelings evoked from families struggling through the ups and downs of the adoption process. If these words resonate with you, then this post is for you.

Friend, take a few deep breaths, remove any distractions and lean into what I'm about to share with you.

1. God has not forgotten you. Sometimes when things aren't working out like we expected they would we can be tempted to think that God has forgotten about us. But that is not the truth. It may feel really true to us, but we can't always trust our feelings. Our feelings change a lot and are often moved by our circumstances. But God and His Word remain constant. God has not promised that the road He has called us to will be easy, but He has promised that He will always be with us.

"And be sure of this: I am with you always, even to the end of the age." (Matthew 28:20, NIV)

"Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or terrified because of them, for the Lord your God goes with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you" (Deuteronomy 31:6, NIV)

2. God is in control. "Through our union with Christ we too have been claimed by God as his own inheritance. Before we were even born, he gave us our destiny; that we would fulfill the plan of God who always accomplishes every purpose and plan in his heart"(Ephesian 1:11, TPT). As Christians, isn't this comforting to rest our minds and hearts on? Isn't this truth freeing to cling to? It's freeing to think about the fact that we can't "slip outside" of God's plans for our life. Friends, you can't mess up or miss out on the plans God has for your family...not in the adoption process and not in any aspect of your life.

3. God is working all things out for your good. If you are believer you can rest in this knowledge. "And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose" (Romans 8:28, NIV). The "good" here that Paul is referring to might not be in agreement with our understanding of "good." My kids love Krispy Kreme donuts and would probably eat 3 every day if I let them. But doing so would not be good for them. Ask God to help you trust that He who knows all and sees all, knows what is best for us, even when it doesn't coincide and align with our thoughts.

4. God is faithful to equip you with everything you need to accomplish everything that He has called you to. Our God is a very present God. He isn't somewhere off in the sky, twiddling His fingers, just hoping His children figure it out on their own. He is with us. He has sent us the Holy Spirit, our Helper. "And my God will meet all your needs according to the riches of his glory in Christ Jesus" (Philippians 4:19, NIV). Are you weary from the adoption process? Do you feel like giving up? Ask the Holy Spirit to give you a renewed hope and perspective. Ask the Holy Spirit to comfort you and strengthen you every step of the way. He is faithful.

Friends, I understand the adoption process is exhausting, confusing, and filled with ups and downs. But I also know and have seen how God creates beautiful stories out of really difficult times. I wish I could tell you that I know exactly how your story will unfold. I don't. But I know the One who does. When you feel like giving up, remember the One who called you to this journey in the first place. He will see you through.

Adoption Story: Matt + Laura

January 02, 2021 by Kelly Todd in Adoption

I'm so excited to share Matt and Laura's adoption story with you today! I was introduced to this precious couple by one of my other sweet CAC families. When their home study and profile were done, they were ready to start presenting to situations. My heart ached every single time I had to send them an email that said, "I'm so sorry. The expectant mother has decided to move forward with another family." I knew their story. I knew their heart. I knew everything that they had been through and it broke my heart to deliver this news each time. But they never gave up. They continued pressing forward through their fears, doubts, questions- and a pandemic! Their story has been an inspiration to me and I know many others. Today, they share the story that led them to their baby boy.

When we first started talking about adoption, we really had no idea what to expect. We certainly had preconceived notions of what we thought it would be like. We had friends who were trying to adopt so we reached out to them for advice and guidance. They told us they were using Christian Adoption Consultants and were working with Kelly Todd. Since we really had no idea about consultants we asked them more questions and got a lot of details from them. We also researched some other consulting agencies and made a note of the ones we wanted to speak with.

After talking to various consulting groups we connected with Kelly at CAC. We really enjoyed getting to know her and more about the adoption process. Kelly really helped us along the way with our home study agency, applying with agencies, providing us with adoption education and giving us guidance on different situations that were presented to us.

One of our first steps was getting our home study completed. We were so nervous about this. Was our house big enough, clean enough, safe enough? Would having pets be an issue? Then came the deeper issues - would we be good enough parents? Would having a smaller family group pose issues? All valid things I feel like most adoptive families go through.

Once we were home study approved we could begin showing our beautiful profile book to expectant families. The first situation we presented to was an expectant mom who was due at the end of October. We were so excited about presenting to her and we thought it would be the perfect match. We felt a personal connection to her story and the information that was sent to us. We crafted a personal letter to her and then a couple days later we got the email.

She didn’t pick us.

That was heart wrenching. I cried immediately. And for a day or two. It was hard. It was difficult. It was something we needed to go through. And we did. Many more times.

We got to the point where we questioned everything. Are we not good enough? Is there something wrong with us? Should we redo our profile book? What can we do differently? Do we take new pictures? We felt like we just weren’t good enough to be parents. We felt like no one wanted us to be the parents of their precious baby. That hurt.

We were coming up on eight months of being active and we were starting to reach out to our home study agency about updating our home study and beginning that process when we received another situation. We reviewed all the information and thought it would be a good situation for us to apply to. Then, the call came.

The expectant family picked someone else.

We were again disappointed. All those thoughts came back, like they did every time. Why aren’t we good enough?

A few weeks later we received a phone call from an unknown number. We didn’t need any new warranties on our cars so we didn’t answer it. When we listened to the voicemail we found out it was the adoption agency from the previous expectant family. They were calling to tell us that we were picked afterall. The expectant family wanted us to raise their baby. A baby boy that was going to be born in 10 days!

We didn’t have much. Our friends that we mentioned before had given us so many things - a crib, mattress, tons of clothes, swings, mats, toys, etc. But we didn’t have anything else. So we hurried up and got on Amazon and ordered way more than we thought we would need. We drove the 16 hours to the birth family and waited for this beautiful, perfect baby to be born.

Then, a whole new set of questions came. What if she changes her mind? What if she decides she doesn’t want us afterall? What if we don’t get to bring him home?

Two days after he was born we could go see our baby in the hospital. Of course, since it was during Covid we could only go into the hospital one at a time. Matt would spend mornings with him and I would go in the afternoon to see him. After being in the hospital for six days we were finally given the okay to bring him back to our AirBnB. We waited for ICPC to clear (it only took a couple days; it was a holiday weekend, too). Then we headed back home with the newest member of our family.

Adoption has proven over and over to have many ups and downs. We cried. A lot. We had our hearts broken. A lot. We questioned everything. A lot. But in the end we became the parents to this amazing, miracle baby that we love beyond measure. He has become the pride and joy of our days. Covid has done a lot of damage and brought a lot of bad things, but the silver lining in all of it for us is that we brought our baby home. And the kicker - we’ve been doing a lot of working from home so our little guy gets to spend his days with both his mom and dad.

Adoption & Waiting During The Holidays

December 12, 2020 by Kelly Todd in Adoption

I would like to dedicate this post to all of my amazing CAC families waiting in the adoption process. I see you. I'm here for you. I'm praying that God would overwhelm you with His peace that surpasses all understanding this holiday season.

Waiting in the adoption process on any given day can be overwhelming, but during the holidays it can feel insurmountable. For many, the Christmas season exudes a sense of celebration, joy and wonder as we think about the birth of our Savior. But for some this holiday season is met with complex emotions as they are reminded of great loss or what they do not yet have: the child they are longing for.

I can understand and relate to the raw emotions surrounding an empty crib and the holidays. I will never forget two Thanksgivings after our miscarriage. Our baby would have been a little over 1 years old. While working through my grief on this day, I also found out that a family member was pregnant. On top of processing grief, I was also dealing with guilt over the complex emotions I initially felt about their pregnancy, even though at my deepest core I was thrilled for them. Only those who have walked through these waters can understand the juxtapositions of emotions that land you from one plane to another in regards to infertility and the holidays. It's just extremely difficult and at times confusing to navigate.

As an Adoption Consultant with CAC I have walked with many families through the adoption process. I have had conversation after conversation with families about this specific topic and so I have a front row seat to how waiting during the holidays can be more difficult. I have compiled a short list of helpful tools to help hopeful adoptive families navigate the holiday season.

1. Prayer. Be vulnerable with God in prayer. This seems pretty simple on the surface, but I think it's something that we forget to be intentional about as we progress throughout our day. He can handle all of your big thoughts and feelings. Pour them out at His feet. Ask God to help you. Ask Him to help you walk in His peace. Ask Him to help you find joy in the day-to-day even as you are navigating your complex emotions over the holidays. He is the best listener and loves to help His children. "This is the confidence we have in approaching God: that if we ask anything according to his will, he hears us" (1 John 5:14).

2. Read your Bible & Meditate on His Promises. We have access to the very Word of God. The Bible says, “All scriptures are God-breathed” (2 Timothy 3). His Word is full of rich truths and promises for His children. The Bible is what our soul needs. His Word is life-giving. His Word is transformative. His Word is powerful. His Word speaks truth to our fears. If this is something that is difficult for you to do, ask God to help you! He is faithful to answer our requests. It doesn't have to be a two hour long Bible Study, but I encourage you to set aside time each day (it can be 15 minutes!) to get in God's Word and meditate on His truths. If you miss a day, that's okay! Try again the next day. God just wants you to spend time with Him. Here is a helpful tool I use to help me read the Bible.

3. Confide in a friend. Talk to someone that you trust about what you are struggling with. Be vulnerable with them. Tell them why this season is especially difficult for you. Give specifics so that they can pray directly to God about it!

4. Guard Your Heart. Do whatever you need to do to guard your heart and your mind. If you need to stay off social media because seeing the influx of pregnancy announcements, adoption stories and pictures of happy families over the holidays is too difficult for you, then unplug for a while! If you need to take a break from a Christmas family gathering then step outside, call your friend and have them pray over the phone with you.

5. Start a thankful jar. Designate a jar in the house that will be your "Thankful Jar." Put it in a visible spot so everyone in the house can see it throughout the day. Anytime a thankful or grateful thought comes to your mind, jot it down and throw it in the jar. You can even turn this into a family tradition! If someone is having a hard day, dump the jar out and read the little notes out loud. Regardless of what you are going through, look for the little blessings, look for those little moments where you can say "Wow God! Look what you have given me. Look how you have blessed me." Then, go write it down and toss it in the jar. Setting your affections on thankfulness is a mighty way to praise God through whatever storm or hardship you are going through.

I know these ideas aren't revolutionary. Perhaps you already do everything single one of them. I just felt like someone needed a little reminder and maybe that person was you. It’s my deepest prayer that this season you would be reminded in tangible ways of God’s unconditional love for you and your family. It’s my deepest prayer that as you pour your heart before the Lord that He would comfort you and fill you with His peace, hope and joy.

Surrender In The Adoption Process (& Beyond)

September 09, 2020 by Kelly Todd in Adoption, Faith, Infertility

Control. Let's talk about that word for a minute. Control is defined as, "the power to influence or direct people's behavior or the course of events." When my husband and I were in the beginning stages of the adoption process we were busy filling out paperwork, setting up appointments for our home study, working on our profile, filling out adoption grant applications, fundraising, etc. There was so much we were doing early on at some point I developed what I would call a "false sense of control" over the adoption process.

This "false sense of control" wasn't completely unfamiliar territory. When we were in the beginning stages of trying to grow our family biologically there were times I felt like if I did everything perfectly, ate all the right things, took all the right supplements, worked out, tracked my days, prayed the right prayer, that we would overcome my infertility. But no positive pregnancy test ever came. "What's wrong with me? What's wrong with us? Why isn't this happening, God?" My sorrow led me to some very dark weeks, months and years.

I don't remember the day it happened, but one day God healed my heart. He didn't heal my heart with a positive pregnancy test, but rather He created in me a heart of trust and surrender to His plans for our family. That didn't mean all the tears were gone or that we “finished” grieving the reality of my infertility, but it provided great comfort to know that the Lord was with us. He was with us. He had a plan. He hadn't forgotten about us just because growing our family was starting to look different than how we initially pictured it. I would describe myself as having clenched fists through most of our infertility journey. But when the Holy Spirit gave me the strength to release my expectations to the Lord, peace came. I traded in my clenched fists with open hands and I placed my desires at the feet of the cross.

I will have to admit that I can be stubborn and had a bit "relearning" of this to do when we started the adoption process. When things weren't working out quite like I expected they would, when we were met with disappointment, when we had no idea if the adoption grants would come through or how we would fund our adoption, I was tempted to sink back into old habits. And I did for a little bit. But I was quickly reminded of how uncomfortable that false sense of control really is. I'm so grateful that I didn't sit in that space for too long and that the Lord quickly reminded me of the better option-surrendering my desires to the Lord. Over the past decade I have learned that surrendering our wants, desires, and expectations, isn't a one and done thing. As a Christian it's a continual process. And through Jesus' blood shed on the cross we have access to the help of the Holy Spirit to help us do just that.

Sometimes we hold on to things too tightly because we mistakenly assume that if we let go everything will fall apart. We are afraid we will miss out on the thing we are holding onto. I think that's putting a little too much confidence in ourselves, don't you? We aren't in control of the cosmos. The Lord is. There is something freeing about letting go. We aren't letting go to nothingness. We are letting go because we trust the One who upholds the Universe with the palm of His hands. We are letting go because His ways are so much better than ours. We are letting go because we know that our God is a loving Father who tenderly cares for His children. We are letting go so that we can experience freedom from striving and enter the rest Jesus talks about in Matthew 11.

Perhaps you are walking through a difficult trial right now. Perhaps things aren’t working out like you expected they would. Maybe you are walking through the adoption process and feel overwhelmed by the "false sense of control“ that you have taken on. It doesn’t have to be this way. You don’t have to feel overwhelmed by the weight of it all. I encourage you to ask the Lord for help. Ask Him to help you surrender your desires and expectations at the foot of the cross because His plans for you are so much better than the ones you have for yourself.

***If you are interested in learning more about adoption and the services we provide at Christian Adoption Consultants, I would love to chat! Feel free to email me at kelly@christianadoptionconsultants.com and check out Christian Adoption Consultants for more information!***

Adoption Story: Joe + Gretchen

May 26, 2020 by Kelly Todd in Adoption

When people discover I’m an adoption consultant I’m met with a lot of questions. Most of them are pretty understandable! Before entering the adoption process years ago, I’m not sure if I knew what role an adoption consultant played. The short answer is that I help guide families through the adoption process from the very beginning to the very end of their journey. The really cool part about my job is that most of my families still keep in touch with me after they bring their child home and are always so kind to share pictures and updates!

I have the added bonus of getting a front row seat in watching God’s beautiful story unfold for amazing couples, like Joe and Gretchen. I remember the first time I spoke with Gretchen on the phone. She was so very personable and we clicked instantly. Like many couples after you are met with more than a few “no’s” it is common to get discouraged and feel like God has forgotten about you. But their faith, vulnerability, and perseverance throughout this entire process was so inspiring. Joe and Gretchen, it was an honor to assist you in your journey to your beautiful baby girl and I’m so grateful to call you both friends.

"God’s way is the best way”, a saying that we believed, but did not fully understand until we started our adoption journey. This year we will be married for 20 years and we have struggled with infertility the entire time. Adoption has always been an option, but God never opened the doors until January of 2018. After we completed our home study, we reached out to Christian Adoption Consultants. When we called we were connected with Kelly Todd. After talking with her we knew we wanted to move forward with CAC. We had a connection with Kelly, as she was so very nice and informative about the entire adoption process.

It was a long, emotional journey, but our adoption consultant, Kelly, helped us every step of the way. She always knew exactly what to say to be an encouragement to us when we needed it most. We presented numerous times before we were chosen. We prayed about each situation we presented to. We prayed for the expectant mother and her baby and most times we felt like "this would be the one," but they weren't. We were hit with many hard "no's." That was the most difficult thing to process. It was as if we had a miscarriage every time we heard that word "no." It was very painful, but we trusted that God had a different plan. It was difficult to wait and be patient, but God knew we needed that time to cry and mourn, and He never once left our side throughout the entire journey.

One morning we received multiple situations. Initially, after reading through them, we did not have peace about moving forward. We both headed to work, but one of the expectant mothers kept coming to my (Gretchen) mind. I looked at the situation another time and showed my husband, Joe, over his lunch break. We decided to present our profile because we felt like God was leading us to. Having heard "no" numerous times, we tried to guard our hearts while we waited on the expectant mother to decide. It was about a week and a half when we got a phone call. I was working so I did not answer, but later, I listened to the message. It was a call from the agency asking us to call them immediately! We were so nervous. What could they be calling about? I called the agency back. They were calling to tell us that she had chosen to move forward with our family! We were ecstatic! God had answered our prayers. I couldn't wait to get off the phone to tell Kelly and she celebrated with us too!

Baby girl wasn't due for quite awhile so this meant more waiting! We both had an overwhelming sense of peace from God during throughout this season and He helped us tremendously. During this time we were planning for the trip, which was over 1,500 miles away. After much prayer and talking to our social worker, we decided that driving would be the best option for us. We never had peace from the Lord that we were to fly. Again, God’s way is the best way. Little did we know at the time of planning that Covid-19 would take over and make it more difficult to fly. March 17, 2020 we got the call letting us know that she was in labor and we needed to start traveling immediately! We drove 24 hours straight to get there. I know 24 hours straight sounds like a lot to some people, but it was such an easy and smooth drive, with no traffic! Again, an answered prayer from the Lord!

When we got to the hospital we had room next door to the birth parents and we got to see our baby girl. When we held our baby girl it's as if all of the "no's" and pain from before drifted away. We smiled when we noticed her beautiful red hair, just like Joe's. God's "yes" for our family was so much better than anything we could have dreamt up ourselves.

Before we left the hospital with our daughter, we met with her birth parents again. It was a sweet time of good conversion and connection – one that will last a lifetime. We are forever grateful for our daughter's birth parents and how they have entrusted us with such a big piece of their heart. We plan to honor them always in our home and in our hearts.

Now we are back home and enjoying every minute with our daughter. All the things that caused us concerns about adoption, we gave them to the Lord, and He took care of everything. Not one thing that we were worried about needed to be worried about because God took care of it all! The best advice we can give to couples is give it to the Lord and trust Him. Easier said than done, but it will be the best thing you can do during this process. His way is the best way. He sees the bigger picture-just be patient and trust the Lord. Proverbs 3:5-6

***If you are interested in learning more about adoption and the services we provide at Christian Adoption Consultants, I would love to chat! Feel free to email me at kelly@christianadoptionconsultants.com and check out Christian Adoption Consultants for more information!***

Adoption Story: Jonathan + Alli

May 19, 2020 by Kelly Todd in Adoption

I remember the very first time I spoke with Alli and Jonathan. I knew there was something very special about this sweet couple and I couldn’t wait to get to know them more throughout their journey! They signed on with Christian Adoption Consultants a few months after our initial call. Once they were home study ready I sent them a situation that they immediately connected with. They couldn’t wait to present their profile and letter to this sweet mama! This was the very first and only situation they presented to, as they were chosen after 3 months of being home study ready! Jonathan and Alli, it has been such a joy getting to know your family and walking with you guys through your adoption journey! Your little guy is such a joy and I have been so encouraged watching your relationship with his birth family unfold. God is so good! I pray you would be encouraged by their story this evening!

We asked the Lord to build our family in His timing and in His way and it’s been an adventure ever since! I would like to say that we always had surrendered hearts when it came to building our family, but that wasn’t the case. It took us years of infertility and heartache to get there. We walked through the pain of a miscarriage and battled with the fears and confusion of infertility before we came to a point where we honestly desired God’s plan for our family instead of our own. It was during a time of pouring-our-hearts-out prayer that God met us in our brokenness and graciously reminded us that He knows. He knew how we were feeling, He knew why we couldn’t get pregnant and He knew all the plans He had/has for us and our future family. He reminded us that He see’s the whole picture, that He is good and that we can trust Him to write our story. So, we placed our future family and our trust in Jesus’s hands. We gave Him our hopes and dreams of having a family and in return He gave us His heart for ADOPTION.

Over the next few months we learned as much as we could about adoption. After talking to several families and praying through all of our options we decided to sign on with Kelly at Christian Adoption Consultants and pursue a domestic infant adoption.

From day one of our home study we were very aware of our need for God to provide. We felt called to move forward with the adoption process but at the time we didn’t know where the funds would come from. For a while this paralyzed us from moving forward but after some more time in prayer we were reminded of the story of the fishes and loaves. We believe God wanted us to give Him what little we had and let Him fill the basket. And did He ever! From start to finish our God provided every penny and more. We are completely humbled and amazed at His provision and everything we needed came at just the right time.

We were actually cleaning up from our adoption benefit event when we got an email that changed our lives. It was a profile of an expecting mother who was due to have a baby boy in three months. We prayed about this opportunity and decided to send this brave momma our profile book. After a few weeks of waiting we found out that we were chosen and our hearts overflowed with joy and gratitude!

We saw God’s hand and provision through every step of this process and to this day we remain in awe of all that He has done and continues to do! You see, the birth of our son Jaden wasn’t the end of our story. In a lot of ways it was just the beginning of a long-lasting relationship with his birth mom and brothers. We love them dearly and consider them family. God knew what He was doing, He is still writing and we look forward to see how this next chapter unfolds!

It was during our most uncertain and difficult times throughout the adoption process that we were able to witness God’s faithfulness most abundantly. To those of you in the wait, we want to take this opportunity to remind you that wherever God leads, He provides. Seek His face in prayer and continue to move forward in faith even when it seems impossible.

***If you are interested in learning more about adoption and the services we provide at Christian Adoption Consultants, I would love to chat! Feel free to email me at kelly@christianadoptionconsultants.com and check out Christian Adoption Consultants for more information!***

From Matched to Birth: 5 Helpful Tips As You Wait

May 12, 2020 by Kelly Todd in Adoption

When my husband and I were matched with the twin's birth mother, we were so excited! We couldn't believe it! However, I quickly noticed fear creeping in and my mind began to go through all of the "what-if" scenarios. As an adoption consultant I have walked with many families through the adoption journey. As an adoptive mama, I'm also privy to some of the emotions, thoughts and fears that families may experience as they navigate the process. Waiting to be matched can be a very overwhelming and exhausting time, especially families who continue hearing no after no. It can be very discouraging. But it may surprise some to learn that the time between being matched and waiting for the baby to be born can be difficult as well. In fact, I have had many families tell me how shocked they were at how waiting for the baby to be born was an overwhelming time, filled with even more uncertainty and unknowns.

My CAC families realize and respect that until the expectant mother signs consents nothing is official. But I think carrying the weight of that uncertainty with them is what causes doubt and worry to set-in. Perhaps you are in this season right now, overwhelmed with all of the "what-ifs." Maybe you have spent countless hours worrying about the situation. But I want to challenge you with a question. How do you want to spend the next few months? Do you want to spend them constantly worrying about all the things that could happen? That is an option. But wouldn't you rather use this time to choose to believe that God called you to present your profile to this situation for a reason? Choosing to believe that God called you to present your profile to this situation for a reason isn't a guarantee that this precious child will be yours, but I much rather spend my time enjoying this season than being worried about all of the "what-ifs."

Here are 5 helpful things to consider as you wait from match until birth:

1. God is with you. "...Do not fear for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand..." (Isaiah 41:10). When we have a million thoughts running through our mind, sometimes it's easy to forget the most important thing: God is with you. Say that outloud right now. "God is with me." Whatever you are going through right now, remember that you are not alone. Whatever comes in the days ahead, there will never be a day where God is not with you.

2. Remember why you chose to present to this expectant mama. You didn't just enter into this situation flippantly. You spent a great deal of time looking through and praying over the situation. Don't forget that. I love this quote by Elisabeth Elliot and I think it's quite applicable here, "Don't dig up in doubt what you planted in faith." Our thoughts have the potential to lead us in a million different directions, so take charge of them by reminding yourself that it was the Lord who led you to show this mama your profile book in the first place.

3. Start a prayer journal. This is one of the first things I encourage my families to do when they are struggling with the wait. Instead of letting worry fester in your mind, pour out your heart to the Lord. Tell Him that you are struggling and ask Him to help you. Use this time to pray for the expectant mother and her child. Pray that God would protect her mind, body and spirit. Pray that God would help you find ways to love this expectant mama well as she is navigating through this difficult time. Pray for the child she is carrying in her womb. Pray that God would give you peace regardless of the outcome. Pray that God would use this time of unknown and uncertainty to draw your heart closer to Him. Our prayers matter to God. He is a good Father. And He is the best listener.

4. Make an encouraging playlist of music to listen to. "Where words fail, music speaks "(Flans Christian Anderson). Music is a sweet gift to us and as Christians it's a special way for us to communicate our thoughts and emotions to God. In our home we have praise and worship music constantly playing, as it's important to our family to fill our home and hearts with reminders of God's promises. I created a playlist on Spotify called, "The Waiting Room." I created it with my CAC families in mind who are each in their own "waiting room" so to speak. Feel free to grab it here. I pray that as you listen to the music, the Lord would use it to comfort your heart.

5. Steer clear of adoption content or stories that evoke fear or cause you to worry. With the accessibility of social media and the internet it is very easy to become a professional "researcher" of an array of topics, but please trust me with this. If the adoption content you are reading is causing you to worry, it's not worth investing your time in. We are pretty good at worrying all on our own without any "extra help" from the internet, so why would we knowingly seek out information about worst case scenarios?

These are not quick fixes by any means, but I pray that they have provided you with some helpful tools to navigate the remaining stages of your adoption journey!

***If you are interested in learning more about adoption and the services we provide at Christian Adoption Consultants, I would love to chat! Feel free to email me at kelly@christianadoptionconsultants.com and check out Christian Adoption Consultants for more information!***

Repost: Fear In The Adoption Process

April 23, 2020 by Kelly Todd in Adoption

How will we afford the cost associated with adoption? What if the expectant mother decides to parent? What if there is a history of mental health issues? What if the expectant mother used drugs or alcohol during pregnancy? Are we too old to be considered? Do we have too many children to be desirable to an expectant mother?

As an adoption consultant these questions, concerns and fears enter the conversation quite frequently. But, I can relate. When my husband and I started our adoption journey we had similar concerns. Below, I will examine a few of the most common questions I receive as a consultant.

1. How will we afford the cost associated with adoption? Adoption can be expensive. The cost associated with adoption was one our biggest concerns before walking into the process. If this is one of your fears you are not alone. I would say it’s one of the most common questions I get asked about when a family is inquiring about adoption, “How will we afford it?” And yet, time and time again I see families blown away by the faithfulness of God through the generosity of friends, family and even complete strangers. At Christian Adoption Consultants, we also provide our families with resources and tools on how to fund their adoption through grants, loans, and fundraising.

2. What if the expectant mother changes her mind? Although Christian Adoption Consultants has a lower adoption failure rate (< 20%) than the nation wide failure rate (50-60%), there will always be some level of risk in the adoption process. When a woman is considering an adoption plan for her child, she is making one of the most difficult decisions of her life. Placing a child for adoption is a sacrificial and selfless act of unconditional love. Unless you've walked through this yourself, than you can't possibly understand the thoughts and feelings that surround this decision. No one can predict whether or not an expectant mother will change her mind. However, if you are living and breathing on this earth, then risk is inevitable. You can’t be immune to it; it’s a part of life. A gynecologist can’t guarantee a full-term pregnancy, as there is 1 in 4 chances that a woman will miscarry. But that risk doesn’t prevent couples from trying. There are many potential side effects of prescription drugs and medicine, and yet the majority rarely think twice about taking a pill. At CAC we walk with our families and assist them in navigating the warnings signs to reduce the levels of risks associated with the adoption process.

3. What if there is a history of mental health issues or the expectant mother used drugs or alcohol during pregnancy? I often hear couples say, “We just want a healthy baby.” Drug and alcohol exposure during pregnancy and a history of mental health issues are not uncommon in adoption. The desire for a healthy child isn’t abnormal, but in reality this is something that can’t be guaranteed, even in what some would consider the “best case scenario.” If you are considering adoption, please know that I don’t share this information with you to evoke fear. Rather, I share this to remind you that risk is a part of life and adoption is no exception. I'm confident that God equips families with His grace and strength to handle whatever circumstances may come their way.

4. Will we ever get chosen? Many couples express concerns about whether or not their family will be desirable to an expectant mother. “Are we too old? Are we too young? Do we have too many children?” Every expectant mother has their own set of preferences for an adoptive family. Perhaps one expectant mother may desire a family with many children for her little one to play with. Another expectant mother may prefer a family who has a history of infertility because she feels as though she is giving them something they cannot give themselves. Regardless of your situation, God is using everything about your family to connect with an expectant mother, even when you can’t quite see what He is up to.

When my husband and I were functioning and making decisions through a “what I can handle” lens, fear quickly became a familiar visitor. However, our worry began dissipating when we stopped thinking with an autonomous mentality and started reminding ourselves that our source of strength does not begin or end with ourselves. It is God who equips us with all that we need to journey through this life (and the adoption process)! It also brought us great comfort to know that we couldn’t mess up or miss out on the story God was writing for our family.

If we had let fear govern our decision-making, we probably never would have started the adoption process. And then we would have missed out on the two biggest blessings of our life: Roman and Ruby. Fears and concerns may arise and when they do my prayer is that you would remember the Author who is writing your story-the One who will equip with you everything you need to accomplish everything He will bring along your path.

Will Our "Yes" Ever Come?

April 07, 2020 by Kelly Todd in Adoption

As an adoption consultant I’ve walked with many families through the adoption process from the very beginning of their journey to the end. It is such an honor and joy to serve families through their unique journey. When a family’s home study is complete and their profile is ready to go, they are ready to start applying with adoption agencies/attorneys and seeing situations.

As an adoptive parent and adoption consultant, I know there has been so much anticipation for this moment and now it's finally here! The time between presenting their profile and waiting for an expectant mother to make her decision can be overwhelming. There is a great deal of emotions and energy wrapped up in receiving a situation, evaluating and praying over it, choosing to present, and waiting on a response. When they receive a situation they begin thinking about "what could be." It's difficult to not imagine what their future may hold. While they are waiting on an answer they begin praying for this expectant mama and her unborn child. Minutes turn to hours. Hours turn to days. Still no answer. They continue thinking about "what could be." Then, they receive an answer. "She chose to move forward with another family." It is like an emotional roller coaster.

Hopeful adoptive families are some of the most courageous people I know. They continue journeying through this process even through the disappointment, heartache, unknowns and uncertainty. They keep on pressing forward and holding onto hope. Their faith inspires me. That's why I thought it would be helpful to include thoughts from a few of my CAC families who have had the same doubts and questions as some of you. I pray their words are an encouragement to you today.

"I can’t tell you how many conversations we had with Kelly Todd, our adoption consultant with CAC, asking her 'What’s wrong with us? What could we do differently? What can we change?' She would always reassure us and remind us to trust in God’s plan and His timing. But after a while this is difficult to hear. Kris and I questioned our decision to pursue this adoption. We questioned things, such as 'Are we too old? Do we have too many other children?' I remember asking Kelly during one of our many conversations, "How do we know when enough is enough? How do we know that we have followed the right path?' As I sobbed on the phone, she again said 'Renee, you have to trust that God has a plan for you.' At this point I was questioning every aspect of our current situation. But then we got a call that would change our lives forever. Although our journey wasn't easy, every 'no' led us to our daughter. We are so grateful for the story God has written for our family.”
-Kris & Renee

"The first few times we presented we were met with 'She has decided to move ahead with another family.' It was incredibly disappointing. I couldn’t understand what was wrong with us. While presenting to one particular situation and awaiting the expectant mother’s decision, I remember feeling defeated. I remember sitting on our couch crying and I looked at Michael and said, 'I just want a yes.' I don’t think we are ever going to get one.' The next day we received a phone call that the expectant mama had chosen us! She said “yes” to us! We were matched! Unfortunately, within just a few weeks, our match failed. Our hearts were shattered. Our 'yes' turned into a painful 'no.' Our families told us to take time, that we needed a break. Others told us it was okay to stop trying. I kneeled on the floor of this beautiful nursery in our new home and sobbed. I had been thinking all along that I was believing and trusting in God and in that moment I knew I had not. Not really. I wanted God to give me MY gift the way I wanted it in MY time. Something about that failed match lit a fire inside of both of us. We were finally 'all in.' No more fear, no more analyzing or assessing, no more trying to control, no more forcing. Just trusting. Just saying 'yes' to God, down whatever road He would have us go. Just a few weeks later we found out that an expectant mama we were presenting to had chosen us. Being scared would have been the easiest thing to do, but we had vowed to choose faith over fear, so we did. With hope and joy, we gave our hearts to this expectant mama. Less than seven weeks later, she laid her heart, in the form of her beautiful newborn baby girl, in our arms."
-Chelsey & Michael

"Every tear we shed in our desire for a child, God was right there, loving us, and wanting us to turn to Him. Though this timeline is not what we expected, we are so grateful that God loved us enough to do what’s best for us. We would encourage anyone who is pursuing adoption to persevere in hope, trust Him in painful and uncertain moments, and seek His heart and will for you. If you do these things, you and your story will be in His hands, and there is no better place to be." -Jim & Julie

When you are knee deep in a sea of unknowns and uncertainty it's difficult to have hope. When you are surrounded by feelings of discouragement, it's difficult to think about what could be. As an adoption consultant, I have walked with many families through many “no’s.” Never once did I hear them say that time wasn’t difficult. But let me tell you this: I have also never once heard a family ever say they regret what they went through to get to their child. I know all of my families would agree that every "no" was worth it because it led them to God's "yes" for their family. Hold on, friends. Hold on to hope. Hold on to God. He will never let you down.

Adoption Story: Ben + Jennifer

March 09, 2020 by Kelly Todd in Adoption

Ben and Jennifer signed on with me at Christian Adoption Consultants in August of 2018. They were very honest and vulnerable about their story and what led them to where they are today. Jennifer opened up about their pregnancy that led to an emergency c-section and a beautiful baby boy. But they also shared with me the difficulty of processing the finality of their infertility due to a hysterectomy. They talked about God’s faithfulness in healing their hearts through the loss and how they were excited about starting the adoption journey! They were matched a few days before Christmas and brought home their beautiful daughter a few months later. Jen was just sharing with me how special it is to be on the other side of this journey and how helpful it was to read adoption stories when they were in the wait. It’s my prayer that her words would be an encouragement to you wherever you are in the process!

Our adoption journey began early in our marriage, when Ben and I talked about what it would be like to grow our family through adoption. At this time it was just an idea we wondered about. But life early in marriage was busy, I was starting residency in emergency medicine, and Ben was starting graduate school. It was only a few months into my first job that I became pregnant with our son, Isaiah. I had a healthy pregnancy without any issues. However, when I went into labor, things started to shift. Ultimately after a long labor, I would require an emergency c-section. It wasn’t until I was in recovery the medical team discovered I was bleeding excessively, eventually leading to severe shock and a critical condition. I was rushed back to surgery for an emergent hysterectomy, the last resort to stop the bleeding. Days later, I remained in critical condition. Thankfully with family gathered and praying over me, and a wonderful medical team, I recovered and awoke to embrace my husband and new precious baby boy.

The months, and even years, after were filled with the joy of raising Isaiah, but also with deep raw emotion, grief, and questions about the finality of my infertility. It was in this difficult season that we grew. The best decision I ever made was to make my first appointment with a counselor. Which, as many can probably understand, is not an easy step. Especially as a healthcare provider, where people look to you for help-now I needed the help. I think it was no accident that the counselor I connected with was a wonderful, wise woman of faith, who had experience helping others in grief and loss, but even more importantly, the complex questions that come up along the way. As I think back on this season, I often think of the phrase ‘necessary suffering’, which is described by well known faith leaders. This was a season I needed to walk, no trudge, through. It was so uncomfortable. I wanted to get it over with. But I had to learn to sit in the grief. And I found in that sitting, you grow. And in that sitting, you see Jesus there next to you, over and over again. Through this season, I would start to gain eyes to see things I could not have seen otherwise. It was sad, beautiful and somehow life giving all at the same time.

Ben and I decided we were going to move forward with our dream of adoption. One challenge for us was that Ben was still finishing school and we were far from family. We would also need to move at least once more for him to finish an internship before he graduated. Starting the adoption process had to wait a bit. And I am not good at waiting. This, again, was another necessary season for us. We took over three years to learn as much as we could about adoption. I did this through podcasts, books, blogs, interviews-everything I could find. This, I now see, was more about preparing my heart, and learning to listen. I learned that the most valuable resource were the stories. I listened to so many stories from birth mothers, and gained so much compassion and respect for these brave women. I listened to stories from adoptees, and understood how critical their voice is in this conversation. It set the stage for how we would approach our own adoption journey, from the beginning, but also for the rest of our lives.

After moving back close to our families and getting settled into our jobs and community, we were finally ready to begin the process. By the time this started, we felt ready-not just with the logistics, but with our hearts. The process itself was quick compared to the years before. We signed on with adoption consultant, Kelly Todd through Christian Adoption Consultants in the summer of 2018 and completed our home study shortly after that. We started receiving situations from Kelly at CAC in October. In December we presented to an expectant mother who was expecting a baby girl. Just days before Christmas our wonderful adoption consultant called with the exciting news-she had chosen our family!

We spent the next few months not only preparing for a new baby girl to come home, but also to get to know the expecting mama. We had the amazing opportunity to not only speak with her over the phone, but meet her face to face before baby girl was born. I then flew out about a week before the baby arrived, to spend additional time with her birth mama. This is time I will never forget, and will always look back on fondly. We spent days just finding things to do together-going to movies, getting our nails done, getting lunch and just chatting. So many important things came up throughout these days together and we formed the foundation of a strong bond between us.

Soon, Ben and Isaiah along with my mom arrived, all waiting for baby to come. When we got to the hospital she had already been in labor for some time. It was only shortly after we got to the hospital that this perfect little miracle, Aaliyah Jewel, was born. I had the honor of staying by her side every step of the way.

This little tiny baby is about to turn a year old next month! She is an absolute joy. Sweet, funny, active, musical, and absolutely beautiful. She has herself wrapped around big brother and daddy’s finger. But is still a mama’s girl in the end. She certainly has captivated the hearts of everyone in our family. And we continue to keep in close contact with her beautiful birth mama.

Our journey is just beginning. There will be more bumps in the road and challenging seasons ahead. But there will be so much joy. Adoption is both a story of loss and grief, but also redemption and faithfulness, and certainly an up close view of God’s intricate work. We hope this story touches you in some way, as you move through your journey.

***If you are interested in learning more about adoption and the services we provide at Christian Adoption Consultants, I would love to chat! Feel free to email me, Kelly Todd, at kelly@christianadoptionconsultants.com and check out Christian Adoption Consultants for more information!***

A Letter To The Weary, Hopeful Adoptive Parents

March 02, 2020 by Kelly Todd in Adoption

To the weary, hopeful adoptive parents who have heard too many no’s to count, I see you. I want you to know that your journey does not go unnoticed by me. I know the adoption journey is filled with ups and downs, twists and turns, delays and disappointments, but first and foremost I just want you to know that I see you. I understand that this hasn't been an easy process for you.

As an adoption consultant with CAC, it breaks my heart to have to send another "I'm so sorry you weren't chosen" email. I carry so much heaviness on my heart typing each word. Right before I push send I hold my breath and say a prayer, "Lord, please comfort them and be with them when they receive this." It's never easy to deliver that kind of news.

I understand that all of the no’s can seem so final and definite and they can can make you doubt or even second guess your decision to pursue adoption. I realize the no’s can make you feel like something is wrong with you and your family. For those of you who have struggled with infertility, I get that the no’s can feel like more rejection and may serve as a painful reminder of all of those negative pregnancy tests.

Perhaps you are already at the point where you feel like you are drowning in a sea of no’s and endless disappointments. You may begin to think that somehow because things aren’t unfolding as you expected they would that you somehow entered into this journey by mistake. Friends, even though I'm hurting for you, I also need you to know that I am hoping and praying for you. I know the heartache and disappointment that comes with each no. However, I also know that you can’t miss out on God’s plan for your family. That’s worth repeating. You can’t miss out or mess up God’s plan for your family. I place my hope and confidence in the fact that our God is a good Father who loves His children. And so if you are still waiting on God’s “yes” than let your heart rest in knowing that this is a part of His plan. “…But I am sure that God keeps no one waiting unless He sees that it is good for him to wait” (C.S. Lewis).

God wastes nothing. Even when it seems like nothing is happening, God is working. He works in the waiting, even when we can’t see it. When you are holding your baby in your arms, all of those no’s will make more sense. And thats not just something I say to make you feel better. It’s something I truly believe. It’s something I have seen to be true for my CAC families time and time again. It’s something most of my families tell me when they get to the end of their adoption journey, “We get it now, Kelly. We get it.” If you are on this journey, but are weary from the process, don’t lose hope. Perhaps instead of hearing each "no” as a resounding “never” you can start receiving them as a “not yet.” Don’t let all of the no’s deter you from something God has laid on your heart. “Don’t dig up in doubt what you planted in faith” (Elizabeth Elliot).

Adoption Story: Ryan + Katie

December 04, 2019 by Kelly Todd in Adoption

I spoke to Katie and Ryan for the very first time at the end of November in 2017. They were very warm, friendly and extremely excited about starting the adoption process! They signed on with me at CAC just a few days after our initial call! As Katie will share with you tonight, the journey to their daughter, Nicklyn, wasn’t easy. In addition to the ups and downs that come with the adoption process, they also moved across the country about 7 months after beginning their journey. There were times when they wondered if they were on the right path and if this journey is what the Lord intended for them. But they continued praying, trusting God, and moving forward one step at a time. I’m honored to share their story with you and I’m confident it will be an encouragement to your family!

Every adoption story is unique and different. Some families are matched with an expectant mother very quickly, and for others it takes longer. Initially, we had no idea where to start the adoption process. But in November of 2017 we connected with Christian Adoption Consultants. We knew CAC was for us after one phone call with Adoption Consultant Kelly Todd. We signed on immediately and with her assistance the entire adoption process seemed less intimidating. I can't tell you how much of a relief it was to have someone there with us helping us out and answering all of our crazy questions!

After we signed on with CAC, Kelly provided us with home study recommendations. Our home study was completed in just a few short months and we began seeing situations immediately. We knew adoption was going to have its ups and downs, but we never imagined the emotional roller coaster it can put you on. Investing your heart into each situation that comes through, thinking about whether or not to present, choosing to present and then hearing "no" after "no" is not a journey for the faint of heart. We heard plenty of “no’s” in our adoption journey. It wasn't easy being told no. Sometimes you begin to think something is wrong with your family, "Why aren't we being chosen? What's wrong with us?"

In the very middle of our journey we also moved across the country. It was a very stressful time, but thankfully we were able to find another home study provider who was willing to work with us. We were able to update our home study pretty quickly without having to start completely over, which was a huge blessing!

In the Spring of 2019 we finally received a big "yes!" Kelly helped us navigate communicating with the expectant mother, how to prepare for travel, and what to expect at the hospital, which was extremely helpful to us! Although we were so excited about the possibility of becoming this baby's parents, the adoption ended up falling through after the baby was born. Kelly was right there for us, checking in by calling, texting, and praying for us every step of the way. To be honest, we were uncertain if we wanted to get back into the adoption process at that time. We were exhausted and just worn out from the process, but through prayers and talking with each other, we decided to continue with the adoption process. We put our trust in God and His plans for our family. Although we didn't know what to expect moving forward, He knew what our path was better than we did.

Later that summer we were matched with a baby girl that was to be born in just a few short months. Our daughter, Nicklyn was born on September 20. The Lord answered our prayers! We had the privilege of getting to meet our daughter's birth parents. It was her birthmother’s plan to place Nicklyn in our arms. This was an amazing moment that we will cherish forever. We are so grateful to have been able to meet her birth parents and have the ability to share photos and letters with them as Nicklyn grows.

We know from personal experience that this process isn’t easy, but don’t give up! Keep praying and trusting God! His plans are always betters than ours.

Why CAC?

December 03, 2019 by Kelly Todd in Adoption

When my husband and I were in the initial stages of researching adoption we quickly learned that we had no idea where to begin. After one call with a home study provider, I soon realized how very little we knew about the process. Even though adoption had been something my husband and I had been praying about for many years, we didn't know a ton about it from a logistical standpoint. I remember googling "adoption agencies" one night and hundreds and hundreds of agencies popped up on my computer screen. It was overwhelming to say the least.

One day a friend reached out to me and told me about her amazing experience with Christian Adoption Consultants. "What is an adoption consultant?" I remember asking. She encouraged me to give them a call and so I did. I was connected to someone who would soon become not only our consultant, but a dear friend. And even though I didn't know it at the time, she would later become a co-worker!

One of the very first things that attracted my husband and I to Christian Adoption Consultants was their extensive professional adoption experience. Christian Adoption Consultants is one of the largest, oldest, and most experienced adoption consulting firms in the world! We have been around since 2006 and since that time have assisted families with over 3,500 successful adoptions. Our team consists of adoption professionals that hold degrees ranging from masters to bachelors in the counseling, social work, child welfare and human services fields. Because we work as a team at CAC, you not only receive guidance from your adoption consultant, but you also have access to the resources and experience from our entire staff! Between all team members we have 120 years combined professional adoption experience.

Another thing that stood out to us is the fact that most of the team had walked through the adoption process before. Between all team members we have adopted 45 kids through domestic, international, foster care and special needs programs. It was so helpful for our family to work with an organization who not only had extensive professional adoption experience, but could also relate to us as adoptive parents.

We never felt like "just another number" while working with Christian Adoption Consultants. Our consultant became a friend and our greatest prayer warrior throughout our entire journey, and even still today! All of my CAC families have my personal cell number and email address. They know they can ask me anything and that I’m here to support them every step of the way. Walking through the adoption process is filled with ups and downs, twists and turns, delays, disappointment, excitement, joy, sadness, etc. It is such an honor to guide families through their adoption journey and it's a privilege I do not take for granted.

There is so much more to the adoption process than just the act of adopting. There is a lot to be learned along the way. At CAC we are committed to providing adoption education and resources for our families. From understanding open adoption, positive adoption language, risks in adoption, communicating with expectant/birth mamas/families, protecting your child's story, educating other family members-we are supporting, encouraging and guiding you from beginning to the end!

Another benefit of working with Christian Adoption Consultants is our multi-agency approach. When you sign on with CAC you have access to our recommended agency list, which includes ethical adoption agencies and attorneys that have been vetted by us personally. This was very important to my husband and I because we wanted to work with agencies and attorneys that provided great care for all parties of the triad.

I tell everyone that working with CAC was by far the easiest and best decision we made in our adoption journey. I know from personal experience that the adoption process can seem intimidating, but that’s where Christian Adoption Consultants comes in! If you are interested in learning more about adoption and the services we provide, I would love to chat and provide you with a FREE inquiry packet! You can email me at kelly@christianadoptionconsultants.com or check out Christian Adoption Consultants for more information!